A Beautiful Disaster

I'm back!

2010-12-28T17:08:00.002+08:00

I haven't blogged in forever.
before tumblr was created, I spent my days on here.
back then I was young, as you can see from my posting.
today, I felt like going old school, I revived my blogspot.
I still need to spruce things up.
the layout and shit.
anyways I am back on here.

please read what's in my head. (:

Just another boring wednesday

2009-07-08T14:46:00.003+08:00

hello dear readers,
*sigh*
as you can see it's another one of those days where my mind has gone completely blank thanks to all the not-happening events.
at the moment its 2:50pm and I'm doing notes of facebook. boring much?
yes I know.
anyways today at like 4am, yes I said "am" so that means "am" because even if I wanted to say "pm" i wouldnt be able to. because for the obvious reason of it being only 2-something in the afternoon.
so anyways today at like 4am I woke up because of a gigantic bite on my leg, thatns to the bloodsucking leeches some would call mosquitos.
I got bit by one and not just a regular one. it was one that made that irritating noise!

so heres a question from one of the quizes i'm completing on facebook, it asks;

23. FAVORITE FRIEND(s)?
- my top 5 would be vanessa, chaddy, russell, celia and nico. just because i can tell them anything well most of them anyway:D

hahahah I have alot more friends though but I dont completely trust them all. :D:D:D

hahah heres another nice one;

31. WHAT IS THE ONE PHONE NUMBER SHOWS UP ON YOUR PHONE THE MOST?
- 8969898<3>

A not so good tuesday.

2009-07-07T16:50:00.002+08:00

Today has got to be one of the worst days of my life. I woke up feeling absolutely terrible, like i'd just been bombarded with a building which landed on my head. no, no, no. this day sucked big time.
I miss chatting to teddybear. he somehow always finds a way to make me smile even if its just typing my name over and over again. note we both do that alot so yeah.
taylor swifts song 'love story' keeps replaying in my head hahaha. it's a really nice song :DDD

so last night was a bummer because not many people were online. screw school. all my favourite msn buddies have to go to sleep just because of it.
haha screw the bed time:DDDD

GOSH. I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I MISS HIM

OH BY THE WAY DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT I MISS HIM???

'dear ___________
I miss you so very much. dont know why though. I guess it's because I'm mentally retarded :D
why is it that I cant stop thinking of you. DAMN YOU AND YOUR GORGEOUS EYES AND PERFECT SMILE'

I want to watch smallville:D

superman is just so hot, dont you agree?
well if you're a guy dont answer that because then that'd mean you are gay. and I dont want you to be gay.
yes I'm sweet I know hahahhahahahaha.

OMGOMG I have my dress ready for ate biancas 18th debut hahaha I so cant wait for saturday, though I havent even got her a present yet and just my luck the present bit is the main part of being a treasue-er-errr ahahahah I dont know I'm just whatever

I think the sugar's getting to me now hahahhaha.

much love to whoevers reading this. it's been another episode of me talking to my self, good day <3natasha

♥CONVERSATIONS WITH MY TEDDYBEAR

2009-07-06T21:46:00.004+08:00

HE EVEN MISCALLED ME TWICE, SO SWEEEEEEETTTT!<3
(two seconds later)
MAKE THAT THREE TIMES NOW.
(5 seconds later)
AND NOW FOUR TIMES:D
(few more minutes later)
MAKE THAT 5 MISCALLS :O

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
again sorry

Russ says:
its okay

Russ says:
haha

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
whatchudoing?

Russ says:
me just c8tin only

Russ says:
how bout u?

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
I think im sick

Russ says:
awww y?

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
my nose feels wierd

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
ada sore throat lagi:(

Russ says:
awwww kcian

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
baieeeeeeeeeeee

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Russ says:
awwwww *hugs

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
aw so sweet

Russ says:
haha, thx x)

Russ says:
ur sweet to xD

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
:DDDD

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
right now i feel like crap though

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
why you misscall me kan:O

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahahahaha

Russ says:
wah, so fast u knw arh??

Russ says:
ahaha

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahah my phone is right here with me hahaha

Russ says:
oooopsss

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
:p

Russ says:
haha

Russ says:
XD

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
i will answer it then you know

Russ says:
WroNg ButtOn

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
yeahhh right

Russ says:
haha, b my guess *tongue sticking out emote*

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
okay lah :D

Russ says:
haha

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahahaha :)

Russ says:
oooppss

Russ says:
srry

Russ says:
haha:D

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
AGAIN!

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
HAHAHA LIAR;P

Russ says:
again wrong button

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
mmmhmmmmm :)

Russ says:
true

Russ says:
haha

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
RUSSELL I WILL ANSWER IT THEN YOU KNOW

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
HOW DID YOU GET MY NEW NUMBER ANYWAYS?

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
:s

Russ says:
WAHAHA, didnt u gave me ur new number last time

Russ says:
haha

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
no. hahaha i didnt:O

Russ says:
yes u did

Russ says:
u txt me last time 2

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
haha and you didnt reply! so mean!

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
:o

Russ says:
yes i did

Russ says:
haiyo

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahahaha nope you didnt.

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
:o

Russ says:
dont tell me u forgot orh

Russ says:
yes i did, it was like early diz year like dat

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahah i have short term memory wahhhh

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahaha

Russ says:
around january like dat

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
so long ago you expect me to remember hahahah apakan

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
:DDD

Russ says:
haha

Russ says:
reminding u

Russ says:
haha

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
so sweeet hahaha apakan:D

Russ says:
haha ;p

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
:p

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
haha apakan i have four misscalls now.

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
:O

Russ says:
haha yea

Russ says:
wrong button bah

Russ says:
:P

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
mhmmmmm like i believe that.

Russ says:
haha *eyebrow raising emote*

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahahahahah you just like miscalling me

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahahahahhah

Russ says:
hah

Russ says:
so i wanna go sleep now

Russ says:
2moro got school n have 2 wake up early

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
OKAYYY:DDDD

Russ says:
so c8 wif ya 2moro den

Russ says:
bye nat

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
HAHAHAH NIGHTS

Russ says:
nitez, sweet dreams n god bless

Russ says:
take care k

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
HAHA YOU TOO

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
<3

Russ says:
hehe x)

Russ says:
<3

Russ says:
bye

Russ says:
wrong button again

Russ says:
2moro den

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
HAHAH BAH OKAY LAHHH

Russ says:
nitez

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
:D

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[you'll be my prince and i'll be your princess ][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
SWEET DREAMS TOO TEDDYYYY

"MY TEDDY IS NOW ASLEEP <33333 HAHAHA NIGHTS BOY"

I WAS FEELING REALLY CRAPPY AND HE CHEERED ME UP HAHAHA SO SWEEEEEEET KANKANKANKAN??????????
IS IT JUST ME OR IS HIS 'LAHS' AND 'BAHS' RUBBING OFF ON ME :O HAHAHAHAHA.

<3NATASHA

BABBYYY

2009-07-06T20:30:00.003+08:00

way back when<3>

How dull, so dull

2009-07-06T19:04:00.003+08:00

today was pretty much boring.
all I did was mostly boring stuff...
I know!
haha waking up to see myself in a mirror is enough to make a grown man scream.
why does school even start at a ungodly hour.
urggggghhhh.
I have a spliting headache now thanks to my brother who keeps banging his skateboard
damnit its so annoying!!!!

I spent my afternoon lazing about, in front of the t.v watching music videos.
gosh why am I even posting this blog, it's enough to put me to sleep.

anyways It's about 7:08pm and I'm really hungry so i guess I'll go make myself some chow.
be back to blog soon dear readers :DDD

much love to you all:PPPP

Two days worth of blah's

2009-07-05T19:34:00.003+08:00

so hey sorry I havent blogged in two days. haha it's the weekend what do you expect?
so yeah the past two days has been spent chatting it up with my fellow msn freaks who stay up aswell.
OMGOMGOMG IT'S JUST SO FUN!
(looking like a panda isnt though:P)

I FINALLY FOUND A NAME FOR MY TEDDYBEAR INSTEAD OF JUST CALLING HIM TEDDY HIS NAME IS NOW "RUSSELL" HAHAHAHAH.
(and russell is my teddybear) kankankankan russell,kannnnnnnnn?
hahah apakan:D
don't you just love russell(the teddy)
edward said it was lame but I tend to not listen to what he says:D
dear edward, you're lame:) kiddinggggggg'<3>

another day, another dear diary moment.

2009-07-03T15:48:00.002+08:00

my blog is exactly one year and 5 months old.
yayyy for bloggie.
nothing much happened today except for my daily routine which is waking up to zombie eyes and poofy hair like in the scene of a really cheap ass horror film.
the going on line of the computer to tell people about my said unattractive morning featuresand the turning on of the tv to the music channels to listen to my favourite music.
my newest favourite music is by;
-hey monday
-forever the sickest kids
-3oh!3
-we the kings
-lenka

anyways, you may have noticed that I have once again changed my blog skin.
I just dont know which one to stick with XD
the other layout is on my other blog, which you can go to if you scroll on down to my links and click 'my other blog'
I'm sleepy now so I think I'll go take a nap. bye:D

BLOG ENTRY NUMBER 140<3

2009-07-02T21:45:00.003+08:00

YAY. i'VE FINALLY REACHED BLOG ENTRY NUMBER 140.
YAY FOR MY BLOGGIE.
I am sort of lost for worda at the moment hahahaha. and alot of my friends are being random on MSN no matter they make me laugh anyway.

sooooooo.... uhhhh...
oooo yes, my dog killed a rat, which is uber disgusting.
I will never look at my dogs mouth the same hahah
I even had to pick it up with a plastic bag to throw it away, so the stench wouldnt get to our house.
I swear to you after I did that I ran into my screaming. no joke it was purely disgusting.

XD anywayssss.

Remembering the past as if it was still here.<3

2009-07-02T20:41:00.003+08:00

these are only some of the incredible people who actually made 2008 bearable.
I miss them so much, all the fun times we had in school, some not-so-fun times too.
they will never be forgotten with me. I miss and love them all dearly.
I keep promising to visit them but then dont hold up my end of the bargain.

BTW; HAPPY BELATED RUDIEEEEE. he's the only guy in white.
you're exactly one month older than me hahahaha
rudie; 30th june 1993
natasha; 30th july 1993

hahahah dont let all that get to your head though ruds hhahahaha.
ILOVEYOU and IMISSYOU poker buddy :D

Order up; one random afternoon blogging

2009-07-02T17:58:00.003+08:00

Ahhhh blogging, one of my now re-instated past times again. when I'm on the computer of course.
I just recently learned to change my blogskin and did. about time huh?
Yeah well I'm still linking people so please do leave your link in my tag board.
it's very much appreciated.

anyways today wasnt much fun. it was my usual daily routine of watching t.v, writing and of course lunch in the middle of that.
I miss him terribly :( it's been almost 3 days straight that he hasnt been on and it's slowly killing my heart.
haha. well other than that I did have a fun day chatting to nico about random stuff :D
our one regular question was;
"are you chatting to russell?"
"no he's busy."

who knew russell was famous in our worldXD
he's currently a stranger to me so yeahhh hahahahah justkidding.

arrrrrggggggghhhh!

my bestfriend is currently becoming suicidal, due to a guy? oh I wouldnt know because she wont tell me. she is starting to scare me though with all her rants about taking one too many pills and throwing herself off her stairs. kinda creepy. but whoever that guy is better watch out. I mean it is so not okay to drive a girl to suicide, or to the mere thought of it.
pfffffftttttt.

GUYS: in other words the opposite sex again in other words the heartbreakers.
The male brain is very hard to understand. honestly. everything to them is whats on the outside.
they sometimes disgust me.

(note; this does not go out to ALL GUYS, there are in facet a big handfull that I like)

this blog is so random it's making my head hurt.

I miss allister changat.
:( as a friend of course XD

he's so last year. moving on now to the 2009 guys hahahahha yes plural as in more than one.
sorry no names will be revealed due to the fact that they may be reading this.

okayokayokay.

"truth be told I miss you and truth be told I'm lying"
-AAR.

You are the reason

2009-07-02T08:43:00.003+08:00

Staying up late can be super fun except for the fact that there are some downsides to it.
1. you wake up looking like some modern version of a zombie.
2. you get really dark rings around you're eyes which in my opinion is really unattractive.
3. you feel so tired you just wanna die.

anyways today, the 2nd of july. is the third day in a row where I have been kept up by certain people.
to name a few;
-nico
-celia
-russell
-rudie

I cant deny how much fun it is to chat and annoy them into the wee hours of the morning hahaha.

JESUS, I woke up today looking like I'd stepped in a puddle and touched an electrical appliance both at the same time.
My hair at the moment is so poofy, I look like a scene from a really cheap ass horror movie.
hahaha.
it's clearly not a good time to blog buh whatever.
time at the moment: 8:52am
holy crap. only about 5 hours of sleep
damnit.

nothing much to say at the moment hahaha. I'm chatting to my awesome(or so he self-proclaims) GOD BROTHER.
a piece from our conversation;

b]zaqd.[/b] says:
boring bah

natsieeeeeeeee ';.[I'm not going to fall until you're willing to catch.][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahahaha not many shops are even open yet hahaha

[b]zaqd.[/b] says:
im going later at 11 lah not now xp

natsieeeeeeeee ';.[I'm not going to fall until you're willing to catch.][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahahahah okaay

[b]zaqd.[/b] says:
Whatchu doing

natsieeeeeeeee ';.[I'm not going to fall until you're willing to catch.][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
idk hahaha my hairs all p0ofy and fuzzy at the moment

[b]zaqd.[/b] says:
I still wanna sleep, but idk why the usual exercise is giving me a stomach ache x|

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[It's okay, it's alright. I'm so much better without you.][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahah exercise XD

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[It's okay, it's alright. I'm so much better without you.][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
apakan this early :D

[b]zaqd.[/b] says:
No i do situps everyday! xp

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[It's okay, it's alright. I'm so much better without you.][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
right when you wake up hhaha

[b]zaqd.[/b] says:
Just 80 a day

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[It's okay, it's alright. I'm so much better without you.][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
omg no wonder you're geting crampy hahaha

[b]zaqd.[/b] says:
Its easy!

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[It's okay, it's alright. I'm so much better without you.][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[It's okay, it's alright. I'm so much better without you.][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
omgomgomgomgomg .

[b]zaqd.[/b] says:
Whaaat? xp

natsieeeeeeeeebaby ';.[It's okay, it's alright. I'm so much better without you.][http://natsiespersonaldiary.blogspot.com] says:
hahahaha nothingg

I want a chocolate milkshakee XD
wait it's too early for that.

damnit.

Conversations with myself

2009-07-01T22:03:00.003+08:00

"excuse me but do I know you?"

"no."

"then why the fuck are you talking to me."

hahahahahahaha.

anyways its still the 1st of july, obviously. haha check your calendars if you are mentally retarded.
so here are a few recent things that have happend in the past few weeks.
-I found out I have a long lost godbrother XD
-I realized I still have strong feelings for him(sorry not revealing names.)
-stayed up until past 2am for the past three nights.
-met a handsome stranger, I actually know.
-rolled off my bed, twice.
-hit my head on my cupboard door.
-found out a friends secret crush.
-picked out my dress for ate biancas 18th birthday party.
-poked my hamsters.
and.
-realized that I have a nice name and that I'm interesting hahaha thank you stranger aka superman aka russell:D

okayyyyy so I just remembered what jim carrey said on the MTV awards about the swine flu.
he said and I quote;
''there wouldnt be swine flu if we treated the pigs better''

hahahahahahahah. it's truly not the pigs fault though.:D

other than that its about 10:11pm and I'm not even sleepy yet.
to those who are sleepy, suck it up and grow a pair XD

"so there's this guy that I love."
"who?"
"cheeeeeyeahhhhhh, like I'd tell you"

another one of those conversations I have with myself to keep myself clinically insane XD

ANYWAYYYS.
that's about all the randomness I have in me so yeah goodnight dear blog. :D

10:15pm signing out.

Pure bullshit

2009-07-01T15:12:00.003+08:00

Due to the rapid growth of casualties of the swine in brunei, I have decided to delay my party until the day after my original birthdate which means the date of my party is friday the 31st of july.

So as of now it's been two days in a row I have been up till past midnight mainly because some people wont let me go to sleep.
hahaha.
but I cant deny how fun it is to prank call some guys XD
I have also just recently found out that a certain girl is curshing on a certain guy hahaha no, names will not be revealed due to the reason that if the find out I will be murdered and dear lord I do not want that to happen.

today is the 1st of july, we're half way through 2009 already.
my oh my the days, how fast they come and go.
next thing you know 2009 will be gone and all that will be left is the memories, both good and bad.
2009 isnt a really good year anyways.
reason; there are 3 friday the 13ths.

anyways so I have also learned something to not do anymore.
tell 'edward' my crushes.
hahaha sorry eddy but you are too obvious and well its kinda personal.

ohhh crap i have to go and edit my HTML now. I'll update more later. that is if I'm not lazy

XD

Back in business baby

2009-06-29T20:08:00.003+08:00

here's my question of the day;
'why is it that we can see our friends perfectly but when it comes to ourselves, no matter how hare we look, can we ever see our own selves perfectly??'

moving on, so anyways guys sorry I havent been posting new blogs lately, just been really, REALLY busy haha.
okay so anyways my birthday this year celebrates my sweet 16. booooooyeeeeeaaaah!!!
and I'm kinda having a party at my house, informal of course. hahah the date will be on either the 17th or the 24th. final list of guests will be posted on my facebook notes :) thats pretty much all for now

cheers'

<3natasha>

2009-05-11T20:51:00.002+08:00

okay so this message goes out to all those people who just recently had birthdays and didnt invite me, I mean thats just a huge slap in the face, considering the fact that you did invite my brothers. thats really low and completely shady mmmkay. so to these people, i'm not inviting you to mine. I DONT GIVE A FUCK if your really close to my brothers because it is MY party and not theirs. 4 people and counting have already been de-invited and crossed off my guest list. so its really positive that you will not be recieving a invite. I wont apologize for doing this either because thats just me. I DONT CARE if I hurt your feelings either okay . GET OVER IT and try to think of others mkay.

<33natashawasherebitches.
8:55pm

2009-04-27T20:22:00.002+08:00

Ok so here's the deal, posting retarded entries into other people's cbox's is really getting old especially when you cant be a fucking human being and put your actual name there.
That's the reason for me changing my web name, too much drama on my last cbox. totally hated it.

Anyways besides all the bullshit thats been happening I'm still planning my sweet 16. guest list is still being updated you know who I want to be there and who I really dont want. i'ts hard because it's being held at my house.
The date is not official yet but it's sometime in july so please if your a close friend of min leave some space open in july mkay? thankies.

OMG!
did i tell you that I just got DAVID ARCHULETTA's CD!
okay thet was kinda random but hey I'm listening to it right now.

hey who do you think is going to win american idol????
there i go being random again hahahah.

Theres this stupid switch that goes on in my head which enables me to be ridiculous and unbelievably random, see there I go again.

*shakes head*

anyways I was only here to randomly post up a entry. emphasis on the word random.

<33natashawasherebetch

Signing out at 8:35pm

2009-04-26T14:37:00.002+08:00

L.O.V.E

is a four letter lie.
maybe sometimes it's not but what are the chances it's like one in a million.
we may not want to believe that such a small word could hurt us so much,
we may want to believe what the heart see's and not what the mind believes.
'love' is not easy.
it's not something you can just mess around with. it's a complicated word with no clear definition.
love does however give us butterflies in the tummy and love also makes us feel wanted but how long before that all fades away and becomes nothing more than a distant complicated memory.
what will we do then?
finding a long lasting loving relationship is not as easy as it sounds.
you have to work at it like hell to keep it from falling apart.

but hey what do I know. I'm just a teenage girl<3

<33natashawasherebetch

2009-04-08T14:59:00.002+08:00

ohhhhhgodddddd its another one of those days.

*rolls eyes*

ok so I havent really been updating my blog for the past few days uhmmmm pardon the recipe section I blogger about hahah that was random and well I do love to bake. ask anyone who knows me:)
chocolate chip cookies and double chocolat fudge brownies seem to be my specialty anyways enough of that.

uhmmmm today was just like any other ordinary day.
had spaghetti for lunch haha partaaaayyy in my tummy-tum-tum.
listened to lady gaga's pokerface song
gosh that song kicks ass and its stuck im my head too hahahahah.

been sorta depressed lately.

oh btw on sunday, instead of having sunday classes we had to like wash chairs and stuff but of course I didnt mainly because what I was wearing wasnt fit for the down and dirty, scrapping 100 year old gum off the bottom of chairs work. I mean I was wearing wedges for fucks sake.
though aubrey and ate jen kept telling us to do it.

vanessa and I had a bit of fun playing with rubber gloves hahaha you know the ones that look like cow condoms hahahah (according to michael) that guy really cracks me up. I mean se makes me laugh till my gut hurts.

oh viel got a hair cut thought I did question her if she did it in her sleep hahaahaha KIDDING! it looks really good for her shaped head hahahaha I dont even know what I'm saying.

Brandon called me a BIMBO but hey I'll take that as a compliment hahahahaha.

michael as per usual kept talking about cow udders and cow condoms plus cow sperm? seriously michael cant you ever get cow genitals out of your sick nasty little mind hahahah love you anyways dude.

found out sean was gay? well, according to michael sean went into his room last night hahahahah viel and I could not stop laughing man ahahahaha.

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

anyways for as for monday's and tuesday's blog post,
there arent any hahahha, I wasnt on the computer so naturaLLY i COULDNT BLOG.

a-duh!?

ANYWAYS i'LL STOP HERE AND HOPEFULLY UPDATE IT SOON ENOUGH:)

<3natashawasherebetch.

2009-03-27T15:27:00.007+08:00

LOVE<3

2009-03-27T14:44:00.002+08:00

MIRRORS;

They are silvery, shiny things that reflect our image, obviously.
Mirrors also make us build a doubt in our self-image.
They are the cause of vanity and at rare times the reason of suicide.
Mirrors show us who we really are underneath all the harsh exterrior.
These small objects sometimes large objects reveal to us the cold, hard truth of imperfections that lie within our image.
To be honest I've never really been a fan of these small, cold, hard, shiny objects of destruction.
Damn I make it sound as if these things are out to get us hahahaha.
Though I do on occasion check myself out I still hate the things.
Now mirrors can piss us off somtimes so much that we want to break them but hold the phone mmmmkay?
dont do it hahaha believe it or not I actually believe in that one crazy superstition, the one that says you get 7 years of bad luck if you break a mirror all you have to do is times 365 by 7 and thats how long you will hypotheytically get the bad luck for.

GOSH!

////////////////silence////////////////////

hahahahaha

<33natashawashere

2009-03-25T15:07:00.000+08:00

MY BLOG IS STILL UNDERGOING A MAJOR SKIN-CHANGING EVENT MMMMMKAAAYYY?

2009-03-14T14:49:00.002+08:00

blhie-blah-bloooh-blehh-bleb-blook

pardon my french.

*halo appears on top of my head*

hehehehe
oh my how incredibly random of meself...

tehe.

o.O

WHAT?!

ok go bye bye now....

*angry voice*

GOOOO BYEBYE NOWWWWW...

ahhh whateverrrrrrrrrr

you goof.

*yawns*

you bore me:)

"cheers mate<33

2009-03-14T14:23:00.002+08:00

Craaaaaaaaaaaaaapppp..

oh why hello there....

dont mind me its just, well lets not bore ourselves now shall we.

today was a hot day for me hahah as in global warming HOT.

gahhhhh what is up with the weather these days???

anyways today I made a cheesecake, yes one of my famous creamy, melt in your mouth, crumbly CHEESECAKES. too bad I cant actually have any because its actually a gift to my mom's friend of 30 year's son who is getting married tommorow congrats to him....... guess I can say that they were my baby friends meaning i never actually knew them but hung out with them when I was a tiny little baby..

moving onnnnn.........

My closet seriously needs an update

*cries*

SHIT!

okokok so I'm gonna post this and well post another one after it though my mind is completely blank at the moment

Like OHHHHEMMMMMGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE/

2009-03-13T16:05:00.001+08:00

5 Facts About Friday the 13th

If Friday the 13th is unlucky, then 2009 is an unusually unlucky year. This week's Friday the 13th is one of three to endure this year.

The first came last month. The next is in November. Such a rare triple-threat occurs only once every 11 years.

The origin of the link between bad luck and Friday the 13th is murky. The whole thing might date to Biblical times (the 13th guest at the Last Supper betrayed Jesus). By the Middle Ages, both Friday and 13 were considered bearers of bad fortune. In modern times, the superstition permeates society.

Here are five of our favorite Friday-the-13th facts:

1. Fear of Friday the 13th - one of the most popular myths in science - is called paraskavedekatriaphobia as well as friggatriskaidekaphobia. Triskaidekaphobia is fear of the number 13.

2. Many hospitals have no room 13, while some tall buildings skip the 13th floor and some airline terminals omit Gate 13.

3. President Franklin D. Roosevelt would not travel on the 13th day of any month and would never host 13 guests at a meal. Napoleon and President Herbert Hoover were also triskaidekaphobic, with an abnormal fear of the number 13.

4. Mark Twain once was the 13th guest at a dinner party. A friend warned him not to go. "It was bad luck," Twain later told the friend. "They only had food for 12." Superstitious diners in Paris can hire a quatorzieme, or professional 14th guest.

5. The number 13 suffers from its position after 12, according to numerologists who consider the latter to be a complete number - 12 months in a year, 12 signs of the zodiac, 12 gods of Olympus, 12 labors of Hercules, 12 tribes of Israel, 12 apostles of Jesus, 12 days of Christmas and 12 eggs in a dozen.

2009-03-13T15:40:00.004+08:00

One of these two should definately win american idol<33

ALLISON.

ADAM.

2009-03-13T15:02:00.002+08:00

I want my Hair to look like this!!!!

Okay this is hairstyle is labeled as scene hair...its so uber gorgeous and I wan hair like that .......

This is just another one of those kinda whacked out days...

2009-03-13T14:38:00.003+08:00

Shit.

Do you ever like get the feeling that its another one of those days where you just cant figure out what kind of day it is.

okay that just replayed in my head and it made no sense whatsoever hahahaha.
.......
great now I've just embarassed myself over the internet
*blushes*
hahahahah.....

so anyways whats up with you, no wait dont tell me, I'd rather not listen to your pshyco babble.
Incredibly harsh, I do know, sue me!

I'm just reflecting my mood at the moment by posting this random blog
. . . . . .

I do seem to do that alot hahahahah.

But i dont really give a fcuk.

anyways today I ate a 500ml tub of ice cream it was labeled "chocolate obsession"

how bitching does that sound hahahah chocolate over chocolate in chocolate.

Did that make sense? O.o
*scratches her head*

oooohhhhh bloody hell!

now that was random hahahahahah.

ATTENTION!

2009-03-07T13:49:00.003+08:00

MY BLOG IS UNDERGOING AN EXTREEM MAKEOVER AT THE MOMENT AND THANKS TO VIEL I LOST MY CBOX AND MY LINKS SO PLEASE IF YOU WANT ME TO LINK YOU LEAVE YOUR ADDRESS IN THE CBOX THINGY THAT I AM NOW GOING TO TRY TO REINSTALL ON MY BLOG THANKS ALOT VIEL. YOU RUINED MY BLOG MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!! CAN ANYONE LIKE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

pictures.

2009-02-07T14:16:00.005+08:00

so yeahhh, I spent the whole of last night changing clothes and taking pictures of myself which is, i know pretty vain but i did actually get a lot of good shots but this was my best one.....wouldnt you say;p

I miss, miss, miss them so.....

2009-02-06T14:20:00.010+08:00

I miss these people soooo much...
MR.A..also know as Allister..:p Left on a scholarship to malaysia...Good luck with everything!!!!!

Zully (mr. gorgeous), My close friend at SGS.....Miss you lots and lots.

Hafzahn! The butch and my bestest friend...miss you tons my fellow Bimbo

Bernieeeeeeeeee....the dude that pokes me ALOT!
KAAAATs... who moved to phils.....MISS YOU!
ROHNAAAAAAAAAA... my little sister from KB...Miss you so much...

Random blah's

2009-01-28T14:46:00.004+08:00

Twilight, thought I love it, has become so overrated. Everyone wants their own Edward cullen, not that I'm saying thats bad or anything but not every guy is cut out to be and edward. He's a fantasy character and somehow we cant change our guys to be like him, that'd be just unbelievably wrong on so many levels. Okay so I havent even finished reading the last two books yet, my stepdad already bought the collection in hardback from the UK and sent it over but sadly *sigh* I have yet to recieve it, DAMN post office. It's really been getting to me that the post office is so damn slow...
Moving on to another blah,
Ahh, yes another random blah, I stole this picture from my friends facebook because I miss them all so dearly, arent they just picture perfect. I've never been one to participate in group photos because I just end up looking completely horrible in them, I prefer solo pictures. from left to right is ;
-Izma, the smiley one.
-Lafus, the adorable one.
-Siti, the pretty one.
-Zann, my bestfriend and the classical one.
-Fatin, the bearable one.
-Izzat, my punching bag and the loveable one.
-Zul, the oh-so-damn-gorgeous one.
-Fifah, the unbelivably sexy one.
-Taquim, the chicken.
-Rudie, my close friend and the funny one.(when he smiles you can hardly see his eyes hahah)
I love you guys so much!

What the heck is the world coming to, I mean I was recently watching a Tv show and there was this gay guy and he was so unbelievably gorgeous, his gay partner was too. Then I realized, why are almost all gay guys hot? is it a gay guy thing, no offence to the straight guys who are sometimes just not that good-looking but what is up with the gay guy air? why are they so freaking hot, thought they are unavailable to us girls, it's just so unfair. people agree with me why dont you.
so I found out something that I did not really want to know at all, something that I think would be best forgotten, locked away in a box. hah sorry it's a huge secret and I'd die literally if I ever revealed it on my blog.
another blah, have alot them today hahahah,
Today I bought my brothers old phone for $70 which isnt bad at all I mean I can text, I can Call and I can go on the internet what more could I ask for in a phone, I can take pictures too, granted not to clear but still. I really dont need a music application because I already have a Mp4 player so I am really happy right now.

2009-01-26T21:43:00.002+08:00

Do you dream?
: yes. doesnt everyone who is human.

What is the last dream that you can remember?
: I was hanging out with my crush and not being totally shy about talking to him.

Do you sleep with music playing?
: actually no, I find it better and more easier to sleep when I dont have a voice surrounding me.

Can you sleep in complete silence?
: yes i can. it's a fact. though I prefer slumber parties.

When was the last time you slept alone?
: last night.

Who was the last person you slept (as in sleep in the same bed) with?
: recently with some close friends of mine, few of which were boys, attractive ones at that. shhhhh between you and me, lets keep it that way deal?

Can you fall asleep easily?
: yes, when I'm so very exhausted and wiped out.

Do you prefer to sleep with company or alone?
: ohhhh jeeze I just cant say no to a sleepover, I love them.

How many blankets do you sleep with?
: one pink blanket my grandmother gave me

How many pillows do you use?
: just the one.

What size is your bed?
: I have a super single bed. whatever that means..

Do you take sleeping aides?
: meaning??

Do you sleep at least 8 hours?
: I dont follow the rules, I sleep whenever I feel like it.

Where is your favorite place to sleep besides your bed?
: In the car with the air-con blowing on a road trip out of bandar.

Should you be sleeping instead of doing this?
: its 5 to 10 hell no.

Tongue twist-ahs

2009-01-26T20:05:00.002+08:00

Aliright time to twist the strongest muscle you have, YES that's right I'm talking about your TONGUE. ever try saying things that rhyme 10 times faster than you normally would well here are a few, well a lot of twisters which you can use to twist your tongue.

A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies

I saw a saw that could out saw any other saw I ever saw.

Black bug bit a big black bear. But where is the big black bear that the big black bug bit?
A big bug bit the little beetle but the little beetle bit the big bug back.

If you understand, say "understand".
If you don't understand, say "don't understand".
But if you understand and say "don't understand".
How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.

RED BULB BLUE BULB RED BULB BLUE BULB

"RED BLOOD BLUE BLOOD"

I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

If a sledering snail went down a slippery slide would a snail sleder or slide down the slide

bubble bobble, bubble bobble, bubble bobble

These thousand tricky tongue twisters trip thrillingly off the tongue .

Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

You curse, I curse, we all curse, for asparagus!

Kacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca papaya.

Sanjeev's sixth sheep is sick

Double bubble gum, bubbles double.

A sailor went to sea To see, what he could see. And all he could see Was sea, sea, sea.

A box of mixed biscuits, a mixed biscuit box.

Upper roller lower roller Upper roller lower roller.

Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

Sixth Sick Sheikh's Sixth Sick Sheep

Which watch did which witch wear and which witch wore which watch?

Six slippery snails, slid slowly seaward.

I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.
If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"

How much wood could a wood chuck; chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Paresh P Patel plans to peel potatoes in Pune

An Ape hates grape cakes.

She sells sea shells on the sea shore she sells sea shells no more

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. And on a slitted sheet I sit. I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit. The sheet I slit, that sheet was it.

Any noise annoys an oyster but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more.

A skunk sat on a stump. The stump thought the skunk stunk. the skunk thought the stump stunk . What stunk the skunk or the stump?

The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

baboon bamboo, baboon bamboo, baboon bamboo, baboon bamboo, baboon bamboo, baboon bamboo......

My Bhaiya buys black Bananas by the bunch.

The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.

Daddy draws doors.Daddy draws doors.Daddy draws doors.

Do tongue twisters twist your tongue?

Friendly Fleas and Fire Flies

If you notice this notice, you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, FuzzyWuzzy wasn't very fuzzy... was he???

How many cans can a canner can, if a canner can can cans?
A canner can can as many cans as a canner can, if a canner can can cans.

How much wood could a wood chopper chop, if a wood chopper could chop wood?

If a black bug bleeds black blood, what color blood does a blue bug bleed?

If Freaky Fred Found Fifty Feet of Fruit and Fed Forty Feet to his Friend Frank how many Feet of Fruit did Freaky Fred Find?

Penny's pretty pink piggy bank

"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"

A tutor who tooted the flute, tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, 'Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot?'

One smart fellow, he felt smart. Two smart fellows, they felt smart. Three smart fellows, they all felt smart.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
wheres the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Black bug's blood.

Crisp crusts crackle and crunch.

It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in!

Tie a knot, tie a knot.
Tie a tight, tight knot.
Tie a knot in the shape of a nought.

Freshly-fried fat flying fish

Rubber baby-buggy bumpers.

Jolly juggling jesters jauntily juggled jingling jacks.

Kindly kittens knitting mittens keep kazooing in the king's kitchen.

Billy Button bought a buttered biscuit,
did Billy Button buy a buttered biscuit?
If Billy Button bought a buttered biscuit,
Where's the buttered biscuit Billy Button bought ??

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,
but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw
Before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
Just because See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw!

I cannot bear to see a bear
Bear down upon a hare.
When bare of hair he strips the hare,
Right there I cry, "Forbear!"

A tree toad loved a she-toad
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a two-toed tree toad
But a three-toed toad was she.
The two-toed tree toad tried to win
The three-toed she-toad's heart,
For the two-toed tree toad loved the ground
That the three-toed tree toad trod.
But the two-toed tree toad tried in vain.

He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree toad bower
With her three-toed power
The she-toad vetoed him.

Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep.
The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed
shilly-shallied south.
These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack;
sheep should sleep in a shed.

You've no need to light a night-light
On a light night like tonight,
For a night-light's light's a slight light,
And tonight's a night that's light.
When a night's light, like tonight's light,
It is really not quite right
To light night-lights with their slight lights
On a light night like tonight.

Of all the felt I ever felt,
I never felt a piece of felt
which felt as fine as that felt felt,
when first I felt that felt hat's felt.

I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought wasn't the thought
I thought I thought.
Swan swam over the sea,
Swim, swan, swim!
Swan swam back again

Well swum, swan!

Repeat this fastly a few times: Babble, bobble, bubbles

Well, here's the tongue twister i think is the best and the hardest and make sure you say it fast, clear and also make sure you keep on repeating it again and again!

Betty Boughter bought some butterBut she said the butter's bitterIf I put it in my batterIt will make my batter bitterBut a bit of better butter will make it better than the bitter butterSo she bought a bit of better butterAnd put it in her batterAnd her batter was not bitter

So t'was Betty Boughter bought a bit if better butter and put it in herbatter and her batter was not bitter.

2009-01-23T15:04:00.002+08:00

Starting time: 3:04pm
Name: Natasha also refered to as dangerous though I have no idea why, it's a friend-elected thing to go with the song.
Sisters: 0 as in none
Brothers: 2
Shoe size: 8/7
Height: take a guess and we'll see.

Where do you live: Brunei Darussalam.
Favourite drinks: juice and fizzy drinks, smoothies are much appreciated too.
Favourite breakfast: why exactly is this question even here.

Have you ever been on a plane?: Yes.
Swam in the ocean: loads of times, in fact I nearly got stung by a jelly-fish-blobbly-thingy
Fallen asleep at school: One of my many talents.
Broken someone's heart: doubtful, I'm sweet like that,

Fell off your chair: Again, one of my many talents.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: I'm glad to say I'm not that desperate if you wanna call, CAll.
Saved e-mails: The one's I like but I delete most of them because mainly they're JUNK

What is your room like: Clean and boy-friendly. not that a boy has ever been in my room of course.
What's right beside you: digital camera
What is the last thing you ate: ice cream and snicker bar, the ice crean literally froze my snickers to a rocky-hard substance

Ever had chicken pox: been there, scratched that, literally.
Sore throat: hasnt everyone who is human of course
Stitches: Eek, no!
Broken nose: No, thats nuts!

Do you believe in love at first sight: I believe in lust at first sight.
Like picnics: without ants and creepy crawlies. SURREEE
Who was/were the last person/people you danced with: danced?
Last made you smile: nessa and brandon.
You last yelled at: paul for being such a bloody freak

Today did you:
Talk to someone you like: yes
Kissed anyone: personal.
Get sick: Unfortunately
Talk to an ex: Yes
Miss someone: Yes
Eat: Course!

Best feeling in the world: the feeling I get when I'm baking
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: A very stuffed pillow
What's under your bed: Floor, in fact nice shiny hard wooden floor.
Who do you really hate: Why so personal!
What time is it now?: 3.12pm

Random:
Is there a person who is on your mind now: Yes
Do you have any siblings: Yes
Do you want children: Yes!
Do you smile often: relatively often
Do you like your hand-writing: it's the envy of all my friends
Are your toe nails painted: yeah, what type of a girl would I be with un-painted toenails.
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: Whoevers. HIM.
What color shirt are you wearing now: dark blue
What were you doing at 7:00 p.m. yesterday: out shopping.
I can't wait till: life teen and famine
When did you cry last: A few hours ago

Are you a friendly person: Yes
Do you have any pets: dogs named after food ;milo and nuggets
Where is the person you have feelings for right now?: somewhere in malaysia
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now?: Yes
Do you sleep with the TV on?: sometimes.
What are you doing right now?: This
Have you ever crawled through a window?: Not that I can recall...
Can you handle the truth?: it might hurt but yes.
Are you too forgiving?: totally!
Are you closer to your mother or father?: I have my days
Who was the last person you cried in front of?: cant recall.
How many people can you say you've really loved?: Just the handful
Do you eat healthy?: At times
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?: nope because i dont have and ex
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: Yes, hasnt everyone.
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?: my bestfriends house
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: Too loud for my own good some might say
Are you confident?: Majority of the times, yes

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. MAke a frozen peach cheesecake
2. make a peach smoothie
3. watch kyleXY
4. feed my doggies
5. copy recipies

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Kinder Bueno (L)
2. pringles
3. anything I bake
4. chocolate
5. sweets

5 of my bad habits:
1. The wiggies
2. The procrastinating
3. The side-tracking
4. The pushing-of-luck
5. The far-fetched thinking

Thoughts.

2009-01-20T15:28:00.002+08:00

Lately, all I've been doing is thinking and to me that is really not a good thing, heres a memory of what happened sunday the 18th of january I had to time to do an earlier post so heres what I remember of that day. well I arrived at church with my two brothers and went in to sign the attendance sheet. saw the band members near the band area and went the since I'm a post-con now which means I no longer have to attend classes like everyone else. Brandon was the first to greet me with a wave. I put my bag down and sat down on the brown steps leading up to the stage platform the next to greet me was james who sail my name like "natashaaaaaa" then said "long name *laugh*"
wierd right, next ate jen told us all to go joing the rest of th people who were sitting on the floor, we did and I was eventually sitting next to jae em who was nice enough to offer me a mint which I sincerely declines, I'm not a big fan of mints to be honest..then I saw vanessa my bestfriend which was strange because i thought her dad wouldnt let her attend post-con.
I noticed her walking in because she and brandon kept sticking their tongues out at each other, kinda childish but hey who says we have to grow up too fast.
we had post com class while the rest went to their classes. we were assigned to a group each because we were going to have a game, nessa ans I were assigned to pre-con2 which was surprisingly a big group, the biggest actually.we had a tea break then we had a game which was to be honest really lamee. after the game and everything we said a closing prayer then almost everyone dispersed to go home. nessa went to hang out with kevin and lucas, the band members went to go play a few songs and Me? I was left to be poked to death by the evil girl viel haha i'm kidding. chasing each other around the hall was a lot of fun. James kept looking at us like we were crazy hahahah maybe we are haha. anyways it was soon that the band had to pack up and while they were doing that allister kept trying to touch manuel who kept runnibg away from him like he had a diesease , I ran too because he sweats alot and its really gross.
all the youths sat together at mass, there were no more seats upstairs so we had to sit downstairs at the black chair area. when we were offering peace james squeezed my hand which hurt . damn you james.
hahahah after mass I hung out with manuel, james ,jae em, and the rest. I saw bernie from sgs haha he poked me really hard which was unfair. hahaha then of course allister kept trying to hug me and manuel which was gross.
then jana went home and james stayed back. but i told him to get lost hahaha so then we had to go, next to our car war neil, chris and mel. kathleen was there too, so we hung out for a while neil stepped on my toe.. OWW hahahah after hanging out for a while we went home.

2009-01-20T15:03:00.002+08:00

My latest obsession recently has been making necklaces, I've mad about 20 now with my own two hands. reason why I'm making them or made the is because my wardrobe is really full of different coloured clothes and well, i dont really have alot of necklaces that match those colours sure there are the ones my stepdad bought for me in singapore in 2007 when we were there but too many people have seen me wearing them too many times. so it's time for a change I thought to myself as I stared blankly into my closet (which was retarded btw but I had nothing else to occupie my mind at the time).
CHANGE is always good especially for the new year.. mum has a bet with me that I cant keep my room clean for more than a couple of days well, I proved her wrong, its been almost a month since i cleaned my room right before the new year and well, my room is actually boy-friendly hahha. No boy would actually be allowed in my room of course because i have alot of secrets and well, I just dont want to share them with you hahaha GET IT BOYS hahahaha anyways besides all this another obsession of mine is the twilight books,some would say its over-rated but HELLO? twilight is the new harry potter, or something like that. to be honest every teenage girl and I mean EVERY teenage girl wants an "edward cullen" in their life...everyone wants to be bella swan who was swept off her feet by edeard well, to be completely honest with you edward cullen isnt even that hot. my attention actually goes to jasper and emmet even carlisle for that matter because they are wayyy hotter than edward..emmett is my absolute fave because hes so butch haha. jacob black isnt all bad either. let's just say I actually believe vampires and werewolves exist now thanks to twilight which has made them appear to be HOT.

message to anne

2009-01-17T15:57:00.000+08:00

BRING IT THE HELL ON BITCH.
NOBODY ACTUALLY CARES WETHER YOU EXIST OR NOT.
GET A LIFE AND GROW UP,
STOP MESSING WITH MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
GO TO HELL!

The Seven Deadly Sins

2009-01-17T14:51:00.012+08:00

Greed

Sinopsis

What it is: Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.

Why you do it: You live in possibly the most pampered, consumerist society since the Roman Empire.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be boiled alive in oil. Bear in mind that it's the finest, most luxurious boiling oil that money can buy, but it's still boiling.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Greed is linked with the frog and the color yellow.

Gluttony

Sinopsis

What it is: Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

Why you do it: Because you were weaned improperly as an infant.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be force-fed rats, toads, and snakes.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Gluttony is linked with the pig and the color pink.

Pride

Sinopsis

What it is: Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

Why you do it: Well-meaning elementary school teachers told you to "believe in yourself."

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be broken on the wheel.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Pride is linked with the horse and the color violet

Sloth

Sinopsis

What it is: Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.

Why you do it: You're shiftless, lazy, and good fer nuthin'.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be thrown into snake pits.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Sloth is linked with the goat and the color light blue.

Lust

Sinopsis

What it is: Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.

Why you do it: Oh, please.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be smothered in fire and brimstone. Not kisses.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Lust is linked with the cow and the color pinkish-red.

Envy

Sinopsis

What it is: Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.

Why you do it: Because other people are so much luckier, smarter, more attractive, and better than you.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be put in freezing water.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Envy is linked with the dog and the color green.

Anger

Sinopsis

What it is: Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.

Why you do it: You're wired for it. Also, the people around you are pretty damn irritating.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be dismembered alive.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Anger is linked with the bear and the color red.

What my birthday means.

2009-01-15T14:29:00.002+08:00

Based on your birthday ...

You are always surrounded by a circle of friends. You are friendly and fun to be with. Although you occasionally disappoint them by being stubborn, but over all, they love your qualities. Your Love, You want to have full control of your love and that's not a nice way to treat your partner. You take your time in saying yes to his wedding proposal or if you are a man, you will not propose anyone until you are certainly confident which might take ages.

Your greatest STRENGTHS ...

While outwardly witty and humorous, in reality they are rather serious, discreet and discerning.

Your greatest WEAKNESS ...

You make misjudgments and are sometimes proud and haughty.

Jobs you should pursue ...

Self-employed

Late post of samantha's 11th birthday

2009-01-08T15:22:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Samantha!
okay so samantha's birthday was held on sunday the 4th of january at er house. samantha happens to be the baby sister of my bestfriend vanessa, so she invited me. There were alot of tiny people at the party naturally because sam is so small too. The only teenagers there we're me, vanessa, janice, olivia, dalbert and ervin. I was not informed about ervin coming to the party because he and I have a history. I think he was invited because he was janice's tuition classmate. anyways as soon as I arrived to banessa's house I was surrounded by alot of unfamiliar faces that is until the front door opened and ther was vanessa who asked me to come in. I met janice for the first time in person which was great. we then proceeded Upstais to vanessa's room where the girls and I began to bitch about anne and the way she acts which is so childish and inappropriate. It was only after a few more insults that we proceeded downstairs to eat, I didnt eat straight away because I had breakfast. So after a while vanessa was on the phone with ervin who apparently couldn't find her house it took her at least 15 minutes of repeating the directions over the phone until he finally got it. He was brought by his driver, wow Rich much. As soon as he came out of his car it was like seeing mount everest in a person, he grew at least a whole foot and a half. he was so tall that I actually accused him of eating fertilizer hahah. It was so great to see him again I mean afer a really long time. after resting a few more minutes, dalbert started throwing water balloons at us so we kept throwing them back, I threw one that actually hit dalbert in the stomach and he said that I threw better than evrin who he then proceeded to call a sissy. hahahah. we all then went on the bounces wet slide thing-y and were surrounded by kids, ervin and I did not go in at first of course i went in before he did mainly because I wanted to pull him in. which I was successful at doing, he may be tall but tall people fall easily when pulled of course. I dont remember much of this day except that I got hit in the face with a water balloon by dalbert, I pushed ervin the bouncer without much struggle, I got a huge sunburn and I met some hilarious people. take dalbert for example he's only 14 and yet he does know how to cuss and swear brutally about anne which is totally hilarious. kevin only arrived at like about 2-something. we all actually planned to push him in to the bouncer pool but it was a bummer when he jumped in himself. It's a funny thing that erving only knew me, vanessa and janice, all girls I might add. Dalbert, kevin and ervin kept arguing over who is who's love kinda like erving is with dalbert and kevin is in love with dalbert sorta thing. They really kept us girls in stitches, we could not stop laughing. Dalbert even revealed to me that edward is bisexual, uhhhhhhh dalbert you sure you should even know hwwhat the meaning of that even is? vanessa's mum also had some games lined up for the kids like there was the first game, in which vanessa's mum hid money in red packets all around the garden. the kids has alot of fun because there was $2 in each packet. another game was the pinata game in which one person takes a hit at it, blindfolded. the one who cracked it open was dalbert I was the only teenager who didnt want to play, naturally ervin and dalbert kept calling out my nam. I just hid behind a pole until someone else's name was called. I was also the one all the kids came to, to ask for a water balloon because when I wasnt on the slide I was off it filling up water balloons. I got to know alot of cute kids too mostly boys because some of the girls were kinda bratty and annoying hahaha like me when I was that age, ahhh memories. it was so fun that time went by incredibly fast the first one to leave was dalbert of course because he and his family had to drive all the way back to KB, the next to leave was janice, then olivia so then there were 4; me, vanessa, ervin and kevin. the only teenagers left at the party we kept playing on the slide until all the kids went in to change and go home. we were eventually the only four left on the slide. we played a few more rounds until we decised to go back in. hahah oh did I mention that vanessa's mum went on the slide too, her dad didnt of course because he wanted to stay dry and take pictures.
Vanessa and I took a shower upstairs while everyone else had to take a shower in the dinky little shower near the kitchen. hahahahha I feel so special well naturally because I'm van's bff lol. All in all samantha's birthday was a blast!

Random quotes

2009-01-08T15:03:00.002+08:00

"Am I losing my mind, you're everywhere and I dont know why. It's something I cant deny, on and on like a song in my head and I cant do a thing about it. I keep hearing your name, it's in the sun and it's in the rain, I just heard it again, dont know how it got into my head, but I dont wanna be without it."

"You use to call me your angel, said I was sent down straight from heaven"

"Here I am A little nervous, thinking where do I begin, can't seem to find the word's today."

"Lost and broken, Hopeless and lonely. Smiling n the outside, hurt beneath my skin."

"Colours changing all I have with me is an empty space."

"when everything's wrong I just pick the phone up, the sound of your voice, well it fill's my eyes with tears of joy. because I know you'll be there when I'm hanging by a thread. you're my heaven sent."

"When People you dont even know hate you, that's when you know you're the best."

"I could fill a thousand page book about all the little things I love about him."

blog-ing

2009-01-06T15:21:00.002+08:00

I do not blog like most others do about their day to day life happening events and what-have-you's. Instead I blog about teenage love lives with an occasional blog about how my day went but that only happens on special occasions where there was a special event the time before or even the day before i post the blog. Blogging about my day to day life would actually be pretty boring if you look at it from my prospective so instead i chose to write and blog about love advice and among other things relationships. I really do enjoy writhing poems and other romantic verses. It may seem as a shock to all you other bloggers but hey that's just me. Im unique and Iloveit.

Your Attention Please!

2009-01-06T15:15:00.003+08:00

To all my blog readers and friends over the next few days I will be collecting email addresses from you so please leave youe email in my cbox along with your name. my blog will become private soon so if you still want to read it please do as I have instructed.
My blog name will also ne changed to something different so to my readers i will give you the address at a later date when I have actually changed it.
thank you, that will be all for now. natasha.

shady-ness

2009-01-06T15:05:00.002+08:00

Shitty, yes that's the word that I'd use to describe the people who hate me.
Pathetic is the word used for all the reasons they do.
A complete waste of space is technically what they are.
Retarded is the word used for the way they try to bring me down.
Idiotic is the word used for all the bullshit they talk about me.
Backstabbers are those two-faced bitches who you believed were your friends but then turned out to be completely shady and annoyingly pathetic.
Backtalkers are people like anne who gossip about you behind your back and make up completely fake rumours when your not looking.
some people like to show their true feelings while others just try to hide them away like cowards.
who apparently dies and made them the judge of everything that is right and wrong in this world we are living in.
I am who I am and dammit your approval is not needed. It is better to be hated for who you truly are than to be loved for who you are not that's just being fake and plastic.
This is a free world where freedom of speech is allowed. People can say and do whatever they want. Peacemakers and middlemen are not appreciated on my blog so back off!

Mr. -A-

2009-01-03T15:59:00.000+08:00

So here I am Again, Lying down on my bed, craving strawberry and peach youghurt. Damn my stomach keeps gurgling. my mind focusing on nothing but my crush. the scent of freshly washed laundry fills the air in my bedroom.
okay so back to my crush, this is really recent, I mean it happened very recently. He's a really, really good friend of mine, he makes me laugh most of the time and impresses me with his magic tricks. Since my blog is for public reading, my cruses name will remain confidential and only those of whom know me will know who he is.
Here's something I wrote for him, this is dedicated to Mr.-A-

'I like the way you make me smile, and the way your eyes sparkle in the sunlight.
I absolutely love the way your hair falls down your face, it's so cute.
I like the way you look at me, it's like being the centre of your attention.
the mention of your name makes me weak in the knees.
the mere thought of you sends chills down my spine.
It's like I'm a different person when I'm Around you.
when will you finally see the way I feel about you?
Your gorgeous coffee brown eyes and handsomely thick cotton candy colored lips are so perfect, sp serene, so kissable.
I want to kiss your cheek.
I want to hold your hand.
I want to run my fingerd through your hair and ruffle it.
I want to be around you every second of every minute, every minute of every hour and every hour of every day. surely it's not impossible.
I want you to care for me the way I care for you.
I look into your eyes and I feel this sudden burst of warmth deep inside my heart.
I like the fact that you adore my rosy red cheeks. I like the way you let me lean on your shoulder.
I like the way you comfort me when I'm feeling dowm. I hate the way I miss you when you are not around.
I hat seeing you with other girls because it makes me insanely jealous.
my darling you are perfect no matter what.'

thanks for reading my blog entry of my crush
theres more to be blogged so keep reading only on; http;//natsieseventeen.blogspot.com

Conversation's

2009-01-03T15:56:00.000+08:00

Messages you type here are delivered to a mobile phone or pager. The recipient may be charged for each message by his or her wireless service provider.

it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is in love with emmett cullen!] [I have an army of friends who have my back bitch who do you have?] says:
:(
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - Im Not Gonna Replace You, Trust Me! says:
Why?
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - Im Not Gonna Replace You, Trust Me! says:
cheer up~
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - Im Not Gonna Replace You, Trust Me! says:
:)
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is in love with emmett cullen!] [I have an army of friends who have my back bitch who do you have?] says:
:(
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is in love with emmett cullen!] [I have an army of friends who have my back bitch who do you have?] says:
:(
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is in love with emmett cullen!] [I have an army of friends who have my back bitch who do you have?] says:
no
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - Im Not Gonna Replace You, Trust Me! says:
Pls...
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - Im Not Gonna Replace You, Trust Me! says:
Just for me...
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - Im Not Gonna Replace You, Trust Me! says:
Pls
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is in love with emmett cullen!] [I have an army of friends who have my back bitch who do you have?] says:
no
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - Im Not Gonna Replace You, Trust Me! says:
*puppy eye*
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is in love with emmett cullen!] [I have an army of friends who have my back bitch who do you have?] says:
*sigh*
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is in love with emmett cullen!] [I have an army of friends who have my back bitch who do you have?] says:
nuuuhuu
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is in love with emmett cullen!] [I have an army of friends who have my back bitch who do you have?] says:
NOO no pupy eye!
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
*PUPPY EYE!*
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
wuuff~
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is in love with emmett cullen!] [I have an army of friends who have my back bitch who do you have?] says:
no
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is in love with emmett cullen!] [I have an army of friends who have my back bitch who do you have?] says:
im sad leave me to be sad
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Sory i cant leave a girl to be sad
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
unless i hate her! Like AMALINA BITCH ASS HOLE!
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
HAHAHA
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
why are you swearing about a girl???
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
nope me sad verrrry verrry much
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
I dunno
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
y?
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Y???
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Oh come on
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
cheer
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
ok smile
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
smileeee~~
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:

««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:

««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
1
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
...
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
2
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
...
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
.
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
2 1\2
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
....
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
nope
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:

««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
2 1/4
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
...
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
3~
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
21/2 is bigger than 21/4
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
smileeee~~
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
hahhahaha
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
wtf
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
smileeee~~??? nopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
dont wanna you cant make me
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
oppp my bad! Hahaha see ur laughing! Yahoo!
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
I cant!
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
nopee you cant
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Caryle use to smile n laugh when i do dat count
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
im not smiling its an internet 'hahaha'
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Esp when shes in a bad mood
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
well she's your babygirl so yeah of course she would
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
theres a difference
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Hahaha no way! Theres no such things like internet
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Smile!
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
NO
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
SMILE!
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
NO
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Smile
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
dont be shy
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
im not shy im just sad and i dont want to smile
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:

««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Urgh!
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
besides how do you even know if im smiling or not
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:

««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
dont make me come there n tickel u!
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Oppps...I dunno
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
still dont want to smile
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Urgh..
««?Azreen Love Caryle?»» - weird, mcm spy! Spy kali haha i know its a spy, sory u cant fool me!!! says:
Brb im going somewhere for a while
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
okay
it's`natasha.bitches` ';.[is hating her life right now][I cant believe this is happening to me} {SHITT!] says:
:(

unbelievably and totally random

2009-01-03T14:12:00.000+08:00

Life can be so unfair at times a million things can go wrong and at the same time right. somethimes its the little things that mean the most and somethimes its the big things. but in the end only a handfull of us get our perfect cinderella story with a happily ever after. It can be so annoying at times to deal with the problems we face in everyday life, nobody ever said it was easy but hey we all have our inner demons to deal with. suicide is not i repeat NOT an option. Life is a battle and we have to sometimes struggle to keep living it, but what happens when you dont live your life to its fullest what happens then? do we just give up? or do we pull out our swords and fight for whats good in our lives. good always beats evil I mean you see it all the time in the movies, villans get what they deserve, bad guys get thrown in jail. and the good people who win celebrate. so pick a side, is it better to give up or fight to keep whats good and pure in your life, I guess that answers up to you. dont be in a hurry to answer it becaus today is a new beginning of and end. take this year and do whats right, make a change and battle to keep the good things in life. some of us will get out alive I can promise you that.

twilight trailer hahaha hillarious

2008-12-24T15:49:00.000+08:00

45 things a girl wants but doesn't ask for?

2008-12-22T11:51:00.000+08:00

I agree with a few but.. not all :)

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.
Are you remembering this?
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.
KEEP READING ..
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say "I love her more than you", deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.
Are you thinking of someone?
16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.
One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she's your everything - only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!
WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US ..
26. Don't lie to her.
27. DON'T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you.
ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT.
31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Don't ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If she's upset, comfort her.
REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..
36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED.
41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you're sitting on her.
You'll never know when she needs just a little more love ..

hmm.. so guys/boys/men/little boys/the opposite sex/significant others; I hope you get the hint. we want attention, thank you very much

The facts

2008-12-22T11:42:00.000+08:00

Girl Facts--
.
when a girl is mean to you after a break-up
she wants you back but she is too
scared she'll get hurt and knows
you're gone forever!
.
when you catch a girl glancing at you,
she wants you to look back
and smile
.
When a girl bumps into your arm,
while walking with you
she wants
you to hold her hand
.
When she wants a hug
she will just stand there
.
When u break a girls heart
she still feels it when
you run into each other 3 years later
.
When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her
mind..
.
When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply,,
.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around
.
When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a
few seconds,
SHE IS NOT FINE AT ALL
.
When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are playing games
.
When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever
.
When a girl says she can't live
without you,
she has made up her mind that you are
her future
.
When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more
than that
.
.
Guy Facts---
.
When a guy calls you,
he wants to be with you
.
When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...
.
When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong
.
When a guy says, "I'm fine" after a few
minutes
he means it
.
When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and
wonders if you do
.
When your laying your head on a guy's
chest,
he has the world
.
When a guy calls/texts/comments/messages you everyday,
he is in love
.
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,
he means it
.
When a guy says he can't live without you,
he's with you till your done
.
When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have
ever missed him or anything else

"I'm Yours"

2008-12-09T16:50:00.000+08:00

This Is What I want him to sing to me:'(

Well you dawned on me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing, we're just one big family.
It's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Do you want to, come on, scootch over closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I'll be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
so please don't please don't please don't.
There's no need to complicate
'cause our time is short
This oh this oh this is our fate I'm yours

Oh I'm yours

I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's our God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure
Theres no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours

"Crush" by David Archuleta

2008-12-09T16:35:00.000+08:00

This song really describes the way I feel about someone -A-
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush
What a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me
It's just too much
Just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized
So mesmerized
And I've just got to know

[chorus]
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we could be
Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away
But i know this crush ain't going
Away
Going away

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging,
Spending time, girl, are we just friends
Is there more
Is there more
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this
Into something that'll last
Last forever
Forever

[chorus]

Why do I keep running from the truth
(Why do I keep running)
All I ever think about is you
(All I ever think about)
You got me hypnotized
(Hypnotized)
So mesmerized
(mesmerized)
And I've just got to know

[chorus]

Going away
Going away

How To Know When It's Over

2008-12-09T16:34:00.000+08:00

There are few things in life that are harder on a person than the time when they realize that the love they have worked so hard at, and spent so much time on, is finally over. For some, this realization is a complete shock and for others, they have seen the writing on the wall for some time now.

Breakup signs are often very difficult to spot, primarily because the people involved often do not want to admit that the relationship has failed. And unless something comes along and hits them in the face, telling them it's over; the natural tendency is to try to work through the problems. This happens more so when the couple have been together for a while.

The question that remains, therefore, is at what point do you really know that it's over?

First lets start with the glaring signs that the relationship is over:

You catch your partner in the act of having an unforgivable affair.
Your partner uses physical violence against you.
You argue non-stop about everything. You can't agree on anything.

The above are obvious, any of the three things occurring above, ESPECIALLY NUMBER TWO, are sure signs that the relationship is coming to an, often abrupt, end.

There are however some other signs to look out for. Sometimes it is necessary to accept the painful fact that the relationship you are in is just not good for you. While I am usually the staunchest advocate for the "you can make it through anything as long as you have love" club, even I have to admit that there are situations where one or both of the partners are just better off apart.

The most common instance of this is when one partner is INTENTIALLY holding the other partner back. When two people have separate dreams and goals, friction can occur, especially if neither of them are willing to compromise. In some instances, however, jealousy leads one of the partner's to be excessively controlling of the other. In these situations, if they are UNRESOLVABLE, it is better to leave than stay.

Other reasons to leave include:

You realize that you don't love your partner.
You find yourself thinking more and more about how good single life was.
You realize that your partner doesn't love you, but is with you because they don't want to hurt you.
You have no common interests or goals.
You find that you cannot stand their annoying little habits, and they won't change.
You find it impossible to be yourself around your partner.
Your partner cuts you down, makes you feel bad about yourself, and constantly devalues your goals and ideas.

Under no circumstances should anyone stay in a relationship that is bad for them, just because they feel that being in a relationship, even a bad one, is better than being alone.

Is It Love Or Infatuation?

2008-12-09T15:20:00.000+08:00

You are getting attracted. You think about him/her. You want to be with your object of love. You are showing all the signs of being in love. But is it love? Or is it infatuation that will go away after some time?

Let us examine this in little more detail. What is the difference between love and infatuation? The first difference is that infatuation is short lived. It disappears soon. How will you test it? Think about all the qualities that are making you fall in this love. Now think of another person. Imagine that the new candidate has all the qualities in greater measure. Think deeply and imagine as much as you can. Are you still in love, or you are shifting your allegiance to the new candidate?

Take another scenario. Imagine having a bad fight with your lover. Imagine of him/her calling you different names and arguing furiously with you. Are you still in love? Will you go back next day to them? Or you already hate them?

Take this test. After many years, your beloved is losing physical charm. Pick up photographs of some movie stars when they were young and compare with the way they look now. Do something similar with your lover. Are you still in love? Will you love them after so many years when they would have lost most of their physical charm?

Love is a feeling that lasts despite years. Love can take fights in its stride. Love cannot be easily defined, but in love you care for your beloved more than yourself. You become very selfless with your true sweetheart. Do you have that feeling? If yes, it is love. Otherwise you need to think more.

Do You Have Faith In Your Partner?

2008-12-09T15:18:00.000+08:00

Faith is one of the biggest assets. Most of us have faith in God. That means that we always believe that god will help us whenever we call on him. That God will be always support us. That god loves us and wants us to grow. God will never leave us alone. This faith is the greatest strengths of many of us. What about your partner? Do you have this kind of faith in him/her?

Many will answer that I have that faith in my partner. That is good. At least they have that faith. Many of you will not be sure about the answer and quite many know that they cannot have faith in their partner. Does your partner have faith in you? Why do not you ask this question and find out the answer? Please ask him/her - Darling, suppose I have someone else in my life for a short time and then come to you and confess will our relations remain the same? Will you forgive me and forget what I did and accept me? Will we be together as we are today? The answer may differ from person to person, but you will rarely find a partner who accepts this.

As you broke his/her faith, how can you expect that their faith will remain intact? That you can expect them to support you after you betray them? That sounds difficult. Faith does not work that simply. Faith works on commitment. If you are committed to your partner and if your partner is a reliable person of integrity, you may have faith in him/her to a certain extent. To say that my partner will always be with me under all circumstances is difficult to say. Only few are lucky to have such partners.

What should we do? Draw an agreement verbally. Commit yourself fully and ask your partner to have faith in you always. Ask him/her to commit that you can have the same faith in them. Give proofs from time to time and you will win unshakeable faith of your partner. Once you have that faith, you will feel a great sense of relief because you are sure that your partner will never leave you.

Does Looks Matter To You More?

2008-12-09T15:12:00.000+08:00

What is love? What is attraction? Why do we love someone? Why do we say that we love someone? Why do not we say that we like someone or are getting attracted to someone? This is all because love is becoming a common word to be used for all kinds of attachments and relationships. Have you quizzed yourself about how much looks matter to you in love?

Will you love an ugly looking person even if she/he has every other quality in plenty? Or you will accept somebody better looking but missing in some qualities? What if you are told that the best looking person of the opposite sex has fallen for you and wants love in return? When you develop relationship, you find that person missing in many essential qualities and values that you respect. What will you do?

Quiz yourself about your relationships. Many of the relationships break because we are attracted by looks but as we get closer we find the other person difficult and break the relationship. It happens with most of us. We all go for looks in the beginning. Very rarely, we give points for other qualities in a logical manner. We look at a attractive person and say-I am in love. Quiz yourself and you will realize why many of your relationships broke? We may deny that. But the main attraction is always great looks. Quiz yourself about this and probably you will come to know more about what are your priorities in relationships and love.

Should You Tell Your Partner If You Cheat?

2008-12-09T15:02:00.000+08:00

Cheating is considered unpardonable. Everybody takes cheating by the partner very seriously. But most of us cheat at one or the other time -if not physically then emotionally. What if you cheated on your partner in a momentary lapse and are now very much regretting it. Should you tell your partner or not?

Love Can Not Be Lost-

You are worried that if you tell your partner, you may loose the relationship and the love forever. But you cannot afford to loose the love. You love your partner very much and the thought of staying separately frightens you. You do not want to take any risk with your love. If you tell your partner about your cheating, you may lose that love.

Love And Lies Can Not Stay Together-

If we love deeply then our relationship is always very open. We are so open and hones with each other that forget physical cheating, we do not even think about emotional cheating. If you want to know more about emotional cheating try this quiz- Are you emotionally cheating your spouse?

Once we decide to hide our cheating we go into mental trauma. We are always thinking about the cheating and not telling. Along with that we are worried about getting caught. This torture of emotions affects our love and our partner will sense that something is amiss. The relationship will suffer.

In both the alternatives, the relationship stands to suffer because the deed has been done. What do you think is the better alternative? You will tell your partner or hide?

Test Of True Love

2008-12-09T14:49:00.001+08:00

To love, to like, to enjoy being with each other and to make each other happy - these are what dream relationships are made of. The couple loves each other. How to know if it is true love? How to decide if it is not passing infatuation? How does one test true love?

The test of love comes in crisis. If your partner tells you that he/she loves you, then he/she should be there with you even at the cost of all comforts and at times even his/her life. That is how most mothers love their children. But what about romantic love. The test of that love is same. Both of you will be with each other through thick and thin. None of you will walk away leaving one all alone to face a crisis after professing so much about love. You will give each other support and encouragement to face that crisis. It is not a single partner’s crisis. It is a crisis for both of you. That is true love.

Why does false love still take many of you in? This love will vanish when you will need it most? Worse, if you have already supported your beloved during his/her crisis. It will hurt more. False sincerity takes one in. Misjudgment takes you in on your part. The signs of love vanishing are all there, but one refuses to believe them in the beginning. You refuse to believe that someone you love so much will turn out to be an individual with no integrity.

If you are looking for test of true love, wait till something very bad happens. If your partner stays with you in that phase, that is love, otherwise it was only talk of love.

Rushing Into Relationships

2008-12-09T14:46:00.000+08:00

Are you trying to rush into developing a relationship? This happens with some of you, when you find that most of your friends have a regular mate, or that the time to marry is right, or when you feel the lack of a companion. You rush into a relationship. You are ready to settle with someone who you feel may not be right for you. That is an invitation to future problems. Why do people behave like this? What can be done?

Feeling the urge to get into a relationship is natural. It is biological and there is nothing wrong about it. Rather it is an essential part of growth. The problem arises when you go into a relationship to satisfy some other desires that are not part of the relationship. For example, if you face career, or home or health problems, you may feel that getting a companion may help solve these problems. You may be feeling frustrated with your present state and need someone with you to live a happy life. This may hurt your relationship, because you are entering with your own baggage. To avoid that happening, you have two choices. Either set your life straight or search for someone who will be supportive from the beginning. You must tell your prospective partner, about how you feel and get an assurance that they will support.

Sometimes, a repeated failure in getting into a relation makes you feel insufficient. You want to feel good about yourselves and not insufficient. That may make you rush into a relationship without much thought. You want a partner and that is your need because otherwise you feel that you are a failure. This will also invite problems. If you are sure about yourself, wait and get into relationship with the right person. Don’t rush for the reason that you need someone, so that you don’t feel like a failure. Before entering into a relationship, assess yourself, your needs, find out about the kind of partner you are looking for and then look for him/her. That is the right way to get joy.

Jealousy In Love - Why And What To Do?

2008-12-09T14:43:00.000+08:00

Before beginning this article, we read a lot about jealousy. We found lot of writing on what is jealousy, why one feels jealous and what can be done about it. All the readings left us confused and dissatisfied. We decided to write our personal views about jealousy without bothering about what any research found out or what is said by a particular branch of psychiatry.

What is jealousy? I love you. You love me. We are partners in love. We have decided to be for each other and be with each other for all the time to come. One fine day, you decide on your own that you would like to go with someone else. You give many reasons, but I feel jealous. That is jealousy. Intense jealousy can result in murders also. Why does one feel jealous? One feels jealous because one loves, and one cares. No one feels jealous about conduct of unknown people. We feel jealous only when our own beloved cheats on us. Somewhere it is written that jealousy is an immature reaction. If jealousy is immature then love is equally so. First stop loving, stop giving any commitment and then you will never face and jealous feelings.

Jealousy is the result of breach of trust. A person who is in intense love will feel intense jealousy and will find it difficult to adjust with his/her life after the breach of trust. We are all human beings and not saints. Saints neither love a person exclusively nor commit themselves to one person. Their love is universal. But ours is not. We may feel compassion for all, but we love only one. When that person cheats on us, we feel jealous and if we are sure of the cheating and if our partner goes away, we feel angry for betrayal of trust.

We feel that there is no way out from the pain of jealousy, or betrayal or the anger that results from breach of trust. The more you have invested in your relationship, the bigger hurt you will experience. Everyone of us who has to face this unfortunate feeling and undergo this trauma will have to find his/her own way, if required with medical help. There are no easy ways out.

Love - Getting Your Soulmate

2008-12-09T14:38:00.000+08:00

Whenever we speak of love, most of us feel very elated. What a lovely feeling is love! At the same time, there are so many people going around beaten after a bad break-up. We may feel jealous of those who got love, but no one wants to step in to shoes of anyone who suffered a break-up. How to avoid falling into a relationship which gives a big high in the beginning and then makes one suffer after one is dumped? There is no sure-fire formula by which you can try and select a soul mate who will not ditch you afterwards. There may be many reasons for a break-up, but one reason we want to discuss here is principles by which we live. Our values that decide our decisions.

Whenever you are getting involved in a serious relationship, make sure that your values match with those of your chosen mate. There is no way for any of us to appear for tests on values and them match the results. Most of the companies test their employees for many qualities and employ them after fully satisfying themselves. Unfortunately this is missing for us. It can be done but would not it look funny and will kill all the romance if you ask your soul mate - Darling how about a values test for both of us? I want to make sure that we don’t clash on them afterwards and none of us get dumped because our values are different. This will kill any romance. So what is the way out? Let us try talking about one.

For example, you believe in giving. Your values are clear about giving. You think that you should not spend more on your comforts but try and give more to the deprived. If on this score, your soul mate says - I believe in enjoying life to the fullest and if there are deprived, let them try and earn for themselves. Nothing stops them. I will spend our money for my material comforts first. If both of you hold strong views on this, this will result in strong clashes afterwards and a break-up. The best way out is to write down one’s own values and beliefs and try to find out how the partner thinks about them. If you find one area where your views differ strongly with her/him, think before proceeding further.

Don’t carry any relationship further if you feel that there will be a clash on values afterwards. To hope that things will get sorted out is to fool oneself. They may not. First meet few and talk with those who were dumped to ascertain the pain that it gives. And then decide.

What Is Love?

2008-12-09T14:32:00.000+08:00

What is love? This looks a very simple question. Is it that simple? We all talk so much about love, read so much about love and use the word love so carelessly. What is love? Think for a minute? What is love? Is it a relationship? Is it an emotion? What is it?

Let us explore. Let us first examine what it means to fall in love, or what happens to a lover who falls in love. Then we can carry on from there. A look at the face, and you can detect if someone is in love? The eyes look dreamy, the smile comes on many times, sometimes you will hear a giggle, all while the lover is alone. It may be some recollection of days gone by. Or you will observe the excitement of meeting the beloved. The work is finished fast, or postponed, eyes shine bright and look excited thinking of the time ahead, the pulse visibly goes up, and the walk is very fast, in a hurry to meet the beloved. To meet, share and walk hand in hand. Why? Love. But what is love?

Ask someone to explain, and you will get an answer such as he/she is dearest to my heart. I feel heavenly. He/she is absolutely great. We cannot think of life without each other. If anything happens to my beloved, I will die. Oh, I feel so good when I am with my partner, I cannot describe. You will hear all these and many more such rambling answers. But nothing specific about what precisely is love. Is this making sense?

Let me try answering this query. Love is an emotion that binds one person to another in a relationship that cannot be described. Lovers are worried only about making their beloved happy. Those in deep love cannot stay away even for a small time. They are ready to forget and sacrifice most of their other relationships for the sake of their love. They are ready to die for each other, and history tells us that sometimes it really happens. Love is an emotional relationship that can never be described, but can only be experienced. Try explaining the taste of sugar, to someone who has never tasted anything sweet. You will never be able to do it. For that the other person has to eat sugar. Similarly, love can never be explained. One has to fall in love to know of its bliss. Please do so at the earliest opportunity.

When Cupid Hits?

2008-12-09T14:26:00.000+08:00

I used to live a simple, happy life. I call it happy, but it was more of a peaceful life. Happiness has different meanings at different times. Is it not true? It was same with me.

Talking of love, I had read quite a lot in books and seen many movies. But love, the emotion was unknown to me. Then I fell in love and my world changed suddenly. I cannot say that I used to see stars in bright sun light, but I can surely say that for me the days became as lovely as the nights. We used to share everything. I used to read my poetries to him on telephone and he listened. That simple sharing was heavenly. The same ice cream used to taste totally differently when we used to share from the same cup. What he bought for me was commonly available in the shops, but I used to wear those clothes as if they were directly delivered from heaven. I can go on and on about what all we shared and loved. As I said before that I had read about love, but did not know about it. I came to know about love only after falling in love.

If you are not in love, please fall in love. There is nothing comparable to love in giving joy. If you are already in love, please make use of every moment to experience it. Love comes as a blessing of God. Love is a blessing and one need not know about heaven if one is in love. Why one falls in love with a particular person? Why one feels different in love? Why one likes the feeling of love more than anything else? Why one forgets one’s identity in love? And why one dies when the beloved leaves for no reason, is a mystery. Please enjoy life when you are in love. Enjoy every moment and live it. Love is a great feeling. Experience and live with love as much as you can, before you lose it.

Why Does Love Drive People Crazy?

2008-12-09T14:23:00.000+08:00

If you talk to two people - one who has never felt love, and other who is deeply in love, you will find them talking in a very different way. If you ask a person who has never loved about what he/she felt about the other’s talk, the answer will be- crazy!

Is it true? Does love drive one to madness? It may not be madness as understood by psychiatrists, but a madness of emotions. Is that right? Why does love do that? To understand this, we have to explore more about love or romance. Is it friendship? Is it physical attraction? Is it just liking for each other? What is love and what is this relationship all about? Love combines all these and goes much beyond in bonding. Lovers are bonded to each other emotionally and totally. A lover cannot imagine of a life without his/her beloved. A lover will suffer like a fish suffers without water, if he/she is separated from the beloved. Love becomes the whole life. Love gives life. Love becomes the reason of life. Life begins and ends with love. That is love. And that’s why people call love mad!

How and why a lover feels like this for one’s beloved is beyond any logical explanation. There is no arithmetic sum that can decide this. It is all emotional. And the emotions are so overwhelming that they engulf the whole personality. Why does a flower look lovely to all of us? Why are we attracted by the sight of a beautiful sunset? Why do we love to walk on the beach? Do we know? Can we answer these questions? Our only answer may be that- I feel happy doing it. A lover feels happy, rather so happy in love that it cannot be compared with any other happiness. One forgets one’s pains, one’s pleasures and one’s existence when in love.

Fall in love if you still haven’t and feel the madness. You will get a clue to why true lovers are called mad. Send ecards to your beloved, to increase the love between you. Love is a beautiful emotion, and it impacts in a tremendous manner. Enjoy going crazy in love.

Understanding Feelings

2008-12-09T14:19:00.000+08:00

Feelings are a very powerful tool we have to be happier. Many times we come to the break-up of a relationship we are unable to understand why we did not anticipate that. Go back and look at your feelings during your relationship. Did your feelings not tell you about this?

Let us find out more. Sometimes we get confused in a relationship. We seek advice from friends and family and discuss and think about what may be going wrong. We do not pay attention to what our feelings tell us. I have seen instances when couples break- up though their feelings tell them differently. This couple never forgets the ex. Partner because the break-up can never be complete. Had they listened to their feelings instead of focusing on small arguments, they would have realized that they cared for each other and were not ready for break-up.

Have you observed your feelings with your friends? Some of them you like instantly while you never like some of them despite any arguments having taken place. Our subconscious mind tells us about the true character of that person and draws us away. But we do not listen.

Feelings are like radars. They watch over everything and transmit the message. Many persons in an abusive relationship keep hoping that things will improve. Though their feelings tell them that the situation will rather worsen. It is question of hope against reality. Our feelings tell us about the reality. Our desires give us hope. Listen to your feelings and realize your true worth.

Why many of us do not listen to our feelings? This is because we feel unworthy. We feel that others are more intelligent and will give us right advice. We are less capable than others. This causes the problems. Pay attention to what others say but let your feelings be the final judge.

Do You Think You Are In Love?

2008-12-09T14:18:00.000+08:00

When we are in love the world looks different. Everything looks good. We look at the world differently then those who are not in love. We love everything. The flowers smell better, the food tastes better, and the nature looks benevolent. How about our body? What kind of changes does love bring in our body?

The hearty is considered center of love. Every poet who has written on love talks of heart. I do not know if heart has anything to do with love- at least no medical professional will agree to that. For them the heart is only a pumping machine for blood. But for lovers heart becomes the center.

If you are in love, have you observed your heart beats? Do they not increase when you think of your lover? Does your heart not beat much faster when you are waiting to meet them? How about the heart beats when you are with them. The heart seems to beat much faster at that time, isn’t it? That is why poets write so much about heart.

That is why all Valentine decorations are heart shaped. the heart goes berserk when you are in love. It is as if it has forgotten about its pumping function and got busier expressing love. A look at the picture of your lover makes the heart beat faster. A touch, smell of their body, their voice, all can accelerate the heart. I do not know if any body has done any research about why heart behaves like this. Do emotions come from heart? Must be so otherwise why the heart acts funny when we are in love?

Our walks become slower, we begin speaking in low voice, begin listening to slow love tunes, we begin caring more about our appearance and we become gentle with everyone around us. Why all this- because we are in love. Truly, being in love is a great feeling.

Winning Your Love Back

2008-12-09T14:16:00.000+08:00

Do you want to win your love back? Are you sad that your partner has broken up and do you want their love again? My advice is that unless you are very sad do not try that. If you think that life is becoming difficult without your partner then let us see what you can do.

Reflect upon the period preceding the breakup. Did you change towards your partner? Were you less attentive or less loving? Were you taking your love for granted? Think about all the mistakes you may have committed. If you find that you were not the reason, then better give up the idea. You can only do something about lost love, if you caused it. If you find that you were probably the reason then arrange a meeting and apologize for all your mistakes. Promise never to do same thing again. You may probably win your love back.

What Haunts After A Break-Up?

2008-12-09T14:14:00.000+08:00

A break-up is the worst stress one can have. Other stresses that match or exceed this are loss of business or job, and death. Break-up causes stress in many ways. The way you lived with your partner and looked at life always together suddenly changes. Earlier both of you were on the same side. After break-up both of you are on the opposite sides of the fence.

We begin our relationship with great romantic love. We love what our partner does. We love everything they say and we love working and sleeping with them. We love sharing our ideas with them. At the peak of love, we feel that we were made for each other. The memories of everything that we shared comes back to haunt us after the break-up. It is difficult for many of us to believe that we are no more together. We may still think about sharing ideas, talking about problems with each other and then realize that we are no more with each other. That is a huge shock. The world turns upside-down. We were always depending upon our partner for many things. That suddenly goes away. It is very difficult to bear this change.

The other big change that brings in memories that haunts us is the period of going through the breakup. The spoken words of each other come back in intensity. When you recollect the words your partner spoke while arguing and quarreling with you, you do not know how to believe that it really happened. Because you never expected such words from your partner. During the period of break up you do undergo disbelief that your partner is finding fault with you in many things. But after break-up the memory keeps coming back and creates a hell.

A break-up is one of the worst experiences one can undergo and needs all the will power to become normal again.

What a Woman Wants in a Man

2008-12-09T14:07:00.000+08:00

this is so funny!

I just came across it the other day and read it and it happened to be very funny and true at the same time don't you think:

What I Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22)
-----------------------------------
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 32)
-----------------------------------
1. Nice Looking - preferably with hair on his head
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at restaurant
4. Listens more than he talks
5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
6. Can carry in all the groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9. Remembers Birthdays and Anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 42)
----------------------------------
1. Not too ugly - bald head OK
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves on most weekends

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 52)
----------------------------------
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed to appropriate length
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep while I'm emoting
5. Doesn't re-tell same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on Weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV Dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves on some weekends

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 62)
----------------------------------
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when awake (LOUDLY when asleep)
5. Doesn't forgets why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers when...

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 72)
----------------------------------
1. Breathing

Relationship humour

2008-12-09T14:01:00.000+08:00

Comebacks to Pickup Lines

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Romantic Ideas & Gifts

2008-12-09T13:57:00.000+08:00

Here is my list of the 9 most romantic ideas and gifts

1. Gold Roses
Real roses preserved in 24kt gold
2. Message In A Bottle
Romantic, mysterious, and intriguing
3. Name A Star After Your Sweetheart
The ultimate timeless gift
4. Flowers
Over 1000 flower arrangements
5. Books
For "fairy tale" relationships
6. Engraved Gifts
Lockets, keepsake boxes, frames, candle holders, etc.
7. Intimate Gifts
Spice up your relationship
8. Romantic E-Cards
Always good for a smile.
10. Gourmet French Chocolates
Hand-crafted by world-champion, French artisans
(They claim to make the world's best chocolates)

The Day I Met You

2008-12-09T13:22:00.000+08:00

the day I met you my heart skipped a beat,
the day I saw you i blushed so hard it was so difficult to hide it.
the day I met you my whole world changed,
the day I fell for you was the most magical moment of my life.
the day I realized I had a crush on You was very Surprising it even shocked me.
the day my friend told me you had surprisingly thick lips really shocked me,
the moment I saw you smile my heart just melted into a pool of goo.
the very day I cried it was all because of you, all because I knew we could never really actually be an item.
The day I realized you were the one for me was the day I was shocked back into reality to where you were gonna leave and I would be alone without you by my side.
I miss you every moment we are apart. I dream about us when truly there is no 'us'.
I love the way you laugh, smile and talk.
I cant believe I didn't meet you sooner if I had maybe, just maybe there would have been a chance for us.
I want to be with you, I want to see your face.
I want to see you in my dreams when I close my eyes.
I want to hold your hand.
the day I met you I was really shocked at the way my heart beated like a million beats a second.

I will love you forever and miss you for eternity.

Inspired by '-A-'

congrats!

2008-12-09T12:10:00.000+08:00

to the confirmation class from seria!!!!
congrats to;
Edward,
Allister,
russle,
andy,
amy,
brian,
whitney,
christina,
jovian,
naz,
adrian, and the rest

I love you guys and congrats!

Lips?

2008-12-09T11:51:00.000+08:00

hahahaha my friend recently pointed out to me that the guy I have a crush on has surprisingly thick lips hahahahahah, normally that wouldn't be the first thing I'd notice because I normally just recognize his glasses or his handkerchief habit which is actually pretty adorable... I'm still stuck on whether I should tell him or not.. I am torn between the answer because he's leaving soon. it suck's that he is because I really care about him a lot and I don't know If I can take him leaving for good to go live in another country I really hate it.... and how is it that the best day of my life can also be the worst day of my life a I mean I got a hug from my crush and I got rejected from another how is it that this can happen. I'm so confused because one guy gave me a hug and then another didn't want to give me a hug..its so unbelievable because I thought we were friends I mean he was so harsh and mean it really hurt my feelings anyways back to the 'lip' situation I really cant stop thinking about that now hahaha ever since my twin sissy Nathalie and bee-eff-eff-eff cynchaaaaa pointed it out hahah thats so wired I mean I never realized it before..... and now its all I can actually think about

Questions...

2008-12-02T19:21:00.000+08:00

The "IF YOU" section:

1) If you got a tattoo, where would you want it?

~ on my ankle

2) If you HAD to dye your hair what color would it be?

~ Red

3) If you HAD to get a piercing (THAT ISN'T YOUR EARS) what would you pierce?

~ my nose

4) If you HAD to change your name, what new name would you choose?

~ Isabella or Daphne

The "WOULD YOU?" section:

1) Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships?

~ I'd rather Love One Person

2) Would you move anywhere else if you could?

~ Oh I'd have to think about it

3) If you were given the chance to go to Paris, would you go?

~ why sure...But I'd have to learn the language first

4) If you were given 10 billion dollars to keep, what would you do?

~buy a laptop, an iphone and anything else technology comes up with.

The "LETS SAY" section:

1.)Lets say you had to eat a live tarantula for $1,000...

~ uhmm...darn..im not that desparate I hat spiders especially the Big bad one's

2.)Lets say you could star in any movie (made or in the works) what movie?

~ TWILIGHT!

The "OTHER STUFF" section:

What makes your bedroom unique?

~ uhm..its messy~ :o

Whats your favorite season of the year?

~christmas

Do you like cheese?

~ possibly.....

hahahahhahahhah I was extreemly bored

Twilight Fever

2008-12-02T19:01:00.000+08:00

Intensity...
The oh-so-romantic Twilight
The Blockbuster Couple Isabella Swan And Edward Cullen
Bella With The Seriously hot Vamps
The Cullen Vampires

Happy Birthday Cynthia!!!!

2008-12-02T16:06:00.000+08:00

Well heres some pictures of the birthday girl; my best friend Cynthia! (look up)

Today is the 2nd of December 2008.
It also happens to be my best friend Cynthia's 16th birthday.
She Invited me to her Party which was Put together,(according to her) very Last minute.... I was on the Phone with her almost all afternoon yesterday talking about her party and the promise that we made to watch twilight as soon as its released in the cinemas.....

Well it is now almost 4;15 and I am At her House right now with Maria and Joey.

The smell of Her Mom's freshly mad burgers Is kinda getting to me.
It smells aromatically good.

Almost an hour ago the bouncer for her party arrived.

before the bouncer Idea we actually planned to go bowling, but thats now out of the picture....

Her puppy 'Mia' is absolutely adorable and always pee's when I pick her up. hmmmmm I don't know whether thats a good thing or not. *haha*

It's now 4;23 and they are all outside playing and splashing around on the bouncer, me I refuse to get all wet and smelly hahahahha....

I'm thinking of getting her puppy mia out hahhahahhaha she is apparently upstairs...*sigh* poor Mia....

Well, From this I hope you Know how much I lovi-eeeee love my best friend...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Twilight

2008-12-02T15:10:00.000+08:00

To all My fellow Twilight Fans here's a blog Dedicated Just to Twilight, the trailer, the books and the actors not to mention the author.

Firstly the books, now the author of Twilight to me Is a complete genius... her writing Is so Intense and diary-like. I really enjoyed reading The first book..... I am Now on to the second book Entitled 'new moon' I am only 58 pages into it an I am Already turning to Pages as if It were A competition to see who could read the book the fastest. Christmas is coming up and I can Hardly wait because who knows my aunts and uncles might give me Some cash which will then be use to buy myself the third and fourth copies entitled 'eclipse' and 'breaking dawn'.

Secondly there are the Actors of Twilight;

Kristen Stewart	...	Bella Swan
Robert Pattinson	...	Edward Cullen
Billy Burke	...	Charlie Swan
Ashley Greene	...	Alice Cullen
Nikki Reed	...	Rosalie Hale
Jackson Rathbone	...	Jasper Hale
Kellan Lutz	...	Emmet Cullen
Peter Facinelli	...	Dr. Carlisle Cullen
Cam Gigandet	...	James
Taylor Lautner	...	Jacob Black
Anna Kendrick	...	Jessica Stanley
Michael Welch	...	Mike Newton
Christian Serratos	...	Angela Weber
Gil Birmingham	...	Billy Black
Elizabeth Reaser	...	Esme Cullen

Thirdly there Is the Author;

Official Biography

Stephenie Meyer graduated from Brigham Young University with a bachelor's degree in English. She lives with her husband and three young sons in Phoenix, Arizona. After the publication of her first novel, Twilight, booksellers chose Stephenie Meyer as one of the "most promising new authors of 2005" (Publishers Weekly).

Praise for Twilight:

A New York Times Editor's Choice
A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year
An Amazon "Best Book of the Decade...So Far"
A Teen People "Hot List" pick
An American Library Association "Top Ten Best Book for Young Adults" and "Top Ten Books for Reluctant Readers"
Has been translated into 20 languages

"Propelled by suspense and romance in equal parts [this story] will keep readers madly flipping the pages of Meyer's tantalizing debut."
— Publishers Weekly (starred review)

"The novel's danger-factor skyrockets as the excitement of secret love and hushed affection morphs into a terrifying race to stay alive. Realistic, subtle, succinct, and easy to follow, Twilight will have readers dying to sink their teeth into it."
— School Library Journal (starred review)

Comments about the Book from Stephanie Meyer;

Twilight

The Story Behind Twilight

I get a ton of questions about how I came up with the story of Twilight and how I got it published. I may be killing my FAQ page by doing this, but here is the whole story:

(Warning: there are Twilight spoilers contained in the following; if you don't want to ruin the suspense, stop reading.....now. Warning #2: As you might have guessed from the length of my book, I can't tell a short story—this is going to take a while. You have been warned.)

The Writing: I know the exact date that I began writing Twilight, because it was also the first day of swim lessons for my kids. So I can say with certainty that it all started on June 2, 2003. Up to this point, I had not written anything besides a few chapters (of other stories) that I never got very far on, and nothing at all since the birth of my first son, six years earlier.

I woke up (on that June 2nd) from a very vivid dream. In my dream, two people were having an intense conversation in a meadow in the woods. One of these people was just your average girl. The other person was fantastically beautiful, sparkly, and a vampire. They were discussing the difficulties inherent in the facts that A) they were falling in love with each other while B) the vampire was particularly attracted to the scent of her blood, and was having a difficult time restraining himself from killing her immediately. For what is essentially a transcript of my dream, please see Chapter 13 ("Confessions") of the book.

Though I had a million things to do (i.e. making breakfast for hungry children, dressing and changing the diapers of said children, finding the swimsuits that no one ever puts away in the right place, etc.), I stayed in bed, thinking about the dream. I was so intrigued by the nameless couple's story that I hated the idea of forgetting it; it was the kind of dream that makes you want to call your friend and bore her with a detailed description. (Also, the vampire was just so darned good-looking, that I didn't want to lose the mental image.) Unwillingly, I eventually got up and did the immediate necessities, and then put everything that I possibly could on the back burner and sat down at the computer to write—something I hadn't done in so long that I wondered why I was bothering. But I didn't want to lose the dream, so I typed out as much as I could remember, calling the characters "he" and "she."

From that point on, not one day passed that I did not write something. On bad days, I would only type out a page or two; on good days, I would finish a chapter and then some. I mostly wrote at night, after the kids were asleep so that I could concentrate for longer than five minutes without being interrupted. I started from the scene in the meadow and wrote through to the end. Then I went back to the beginning and wrote until the pieces matched up. I drove the "golden spike" that connected them in late August, three months later.

It took me a while to find names for my anonymous duo. For my vampire (who I was in love with from day one) I decided to use a name that had once been considered romantic, but had fallen out of popularity for decades. Charlotte Bronte's Mr. Rochester and Jane Austen's Mr. Ferrars were the characters that led me to the name Edward. I tried it on for size, and found that it fit well. My female lead was harder. Nothing I named her seemed just right. After spending so much time with her, I loved her like a daughter, and no name was good enough. Finally, inspired by that love, I gave her the name I was saving for my daughter, who had never shown up and was unlikely to put in an appearance at this point: Isabella. Huzzah! Edward and Bella were named. For the rest of the characters, I did a lot of searching in old census records, looking for popular names in the times that they'd been born. Some trivia: Rosalie was originally "Carol" and Jasper was first "Ronald." I like the new names much better, but every now and then I will slip up and type Carol or Ron by accident. It really confuses the people who read my rough drafts.

For my setting, I knew I needed someplace ridiculously rainy. I turned to Google, as I do for all my research needs, and looked for the place with the most rainfall in the U.S. This turned out to be the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State. I pulled up maps of the area and studied them, looking for something small, out of the way, surrounded by forest... And there, right where I wanted it to be, was a tiny town called "Forks." It couldn't have been more perfect if I had named it myself. I did a Google image search on the area, and if the name hadn't sold me, the gorgeous photographs would have done the trick. (Images like these of the Hoh Rainforest (a short drive from Forks). Also see forks-web.com ). In researching Forks, I discovered the La Push Reservation, home to the Quileute Tribe. The Quileute story is fascinating, and a few fictional members of the tribe quickly became intrinsic to my story.

All this time, Bella and Edward were, quite literally, voices in my head. They simply wouldn't shut up. I'd stay up as late as I could stand trying to get all the stuff in my mind typed out, and then crawl, exhausted, into bed (my baby still wasn't sleeping through the night, yet) only to have another conversation start in my head. I hated to lose anything by forgetting, so I'd get up and head back down to the computer. Eventually, I got a pen and notebook for beside my bed to jot notes down so I could get some freakin' sleep. It was always an exciting challenge in the morning to try to decipher the stuff I'd scrawled across the page in the dark.

During the day, I couldn't stay away from the computer, either. When I was stuck at swim lessons, out in 115 degrees of Phoenix sunshine, I would plot and scheme and come home with so much new stuff that I couldn't type fast enough. It was your typical Arizona summer, hot, sunny, hot, and hot, but when I think back to those three months, I remember rain and cool green things, like I really spent the summer in the Olympic Rainforest.

When I'd finished the body of the novel, I started writing epilogues...lots of epilogues. This eventually clued me in to the fact that I wasn't ready to let go of my characters, and I started working on the sequel. Meanwhile, I continued to edit Twilight in a very obsessive-compulsive way.

My older sister, Emily, was the only one who really knew what I was up to. In June, I'd started sending her chapters as I finished them, and she soon became my cheerleading section. She was always checking in to see if I had something new for her. It was Emily who first suggested, after I'd finished, that I should try to get Twilight published. I was so stunned by the fact that I'd actually finished a whole, entire book, that I decided to look into it.

Getting Published: To put it mildly, I was naive about publishing. I thought it worked like this: you printed a copy of your novel, wrapped it up in brown paper, and sent it off to a publishing house. Ho ho ho, that's a good one. I started googling (naturally) and began to discover that this was not the way it is done. (Movies lie to us! Why?! A side note: you will not be able to enjoy the new Steve Martin version of Cheaper by the Dozen when you know how insanely impossible the publishing scenario it contains is.) The whole set up with query letters, literary agents, simultaneous submissions vs. exclusive submissions, synopsizes, etc., was extremely intimidating, and I almost quit there. It certainly wasn't belief in my fabulous talent that made me push forward; I think it was just that I loved my characters so much, and they were so real to me, that I wanted other people to know them, too.

I subscribed to WritersMarket.com and compiled a list of small publishers that accepted unsolicited submissions and a few literary agencies. It was around this time that my little sister, Heidi, mentioned Janet Evanovich's website to me. In her Q and A for writers section, Janet E. mentioned Writers House, among a few others, as "the real thing" in the world of literary agencies. Writers House went on my wish list as the most desirable and also least likely.

I sent out around fifteen queries (and I still get residual butterflies in my stomach when I drive by the mailbox I sent the letters from—mailing them was terrifying.). I will state, for the record, that my queries truly sucked, and I don't blame anyone who sent me a rejection (I did get seven or eight of those. I still have them all, too). The only rejection that really hurt was from a small agent who actually read the first chapter before she dropped the axe on me. The meanest rejection I got came after Little, Brown had picked me up for a three-book deal, so it didn't bother me at all. I'll admit that I considered sending back a copy of that rejection stapled to the write-up my deal got in Publisher's Weekly, but I took the higher road.

My big break came in the form of an assistant at Writers House named Genevieve. I didn't find out until much later just how lucky I was; it turns out that Gen didn't know that 130,000 words is a whole heck of a lot of words. If she'd known that 130K words would equal 500 pages, she probably wouldn't have asked to see it. But she didn't know (picture me wiping the sweat from my brow), and she did ask for the first three chapters. I was thrilled to get a positive response, but a little worried because I felt the beginning of the book wasn't the strongest part. I mailed off those three chapters and got a letter back a few weeks later (I could barely get it open, my hands were so weak with fear). It was a very nice letter. She'd gone back with a pen and twice underlined the part where she'd typed how much she enjoyed the first three chapters (I still have that letter, of course), and she asked for the whole manuscript. That was the exact moment when I realized that I might actually see Twilight in print, and really one of the happiest points in my whole life. I did a lot of screaming.

About a month after I sent in the manuscript, I got a call from Jodi Reamer, an honest to goodness literary agent, who wanted to represent my book. I tried really hard to sound like a professional and a grownup during that conversation, but I'm not sure if I fooled her. Again, my luck was tremendous (and I don't usually have good luck—I've never won anything in my life, and no one ever catches a fish when I'm in the boat) because Jodi is the uber-agent. I couldn't have ended up in better hands. She's part lawyer, part ninja (she's working on earning her black belt right now, no kidding), a pretty amazing editor in her own right, and a great friend.

Jodi and I worked for two weeks on getting Twilight into shape before sending it to editors. The first thing we worked on was the title, which started out as Forks (and I still have a teeny soft spot for that name). Then we polished up a few rough spots, and Jodi sent it out to nine different publishing houses. This really messed with my ability to sleep, but luckily I wasn't in suspense for long.

Megan Tingley, of Megan Tingley Books, of Little, Brown and Company, read Twilight on a cross-country flight and came back to Jodi the day after the Thanksgiving weekend with a preemptive deal so huge that I honestly thought Jodi was pulling my leg—especially the part where she turned the offer down and asked for more. The upshot was that, by the end of the day, I was trying to process the information that not only was my book going to be published by one of the biggest young adult publishers in the country, but that they were going to pay me for it. For a very long time, I was convinced it was a really cruel practical joke, but I couldn't imagine who would go to these wild extremes to play a hoax on such an insignificant little hausfrau.

And that's how, in the course of six months, Twilight was dreamed, written, and accepted for publication.

Things keep getting crazier, what with the movie deal and all the pre-publication attention that Twilight continues to receive. Though I've gotten impatient from time to time, I'm glad I've had the last two years to try to come to terms with the situation. I'm greatly looking forward to finally having Twilight on the shelves, and more than a little frightened, too. Overall, it's been a true labor of love, love for Edward and Bella and all the rest of my imaginary friends, and I'm thrilled that other people get to meet them now.

Twilight — Forks

Forks is a real place and I was there!

[September 2008 edit: check out this link to a story about how the Twilight series has positively affected Forks: 'Vampire tourism' breathes new life into small town
--Seth

The Forks, WA Chamber of Commerce recently added a great new page to their site called "Twilight Points of Interests." Click here to see it.

The Forks Forum is also a great place to visit.

In the summer of 2004 I snuck up to Forks to check it out; it was the first time I've ever been to any part of Washington. I took my sister Emily with me—she was a really great sport considering that she was seven months pregnant at the time. We flew from Seattle to Port Angeles in a "puddle jumper" (another first for us both) and then rented a car and made the drive down to Forks. I was afraid, as we left Seattle, that I was going to be disappointed. My Forks had become such a real place in my head that I was sure the reality would have some kind of jarring difference. It wouldn't look like the pictures, maybe, or there would be some huge flaw that would make my story impossible in that setting. But as we flew in, low over the densely green hills with the incredible Cascades Mountains touching the clouds to the south, I stopped worrying.

Of course it was raining when we landed. It rained both days that we were in Port Angeles. However, the sun shined the entire time we were in Forks. I'm still not sure if that was a good omen or a bad one. Every local we spoke to commented on our rare luck.

Being in Forks was the most incredible experience. There were a few small differences: the logging presence was much more evident than I'd pictured it—the clear cuts put a bit of a lump in my throat, and the constant, gigantic log haulers barreling down the wet highway made driving a thrilling adventure—and it was sunny, as I've mentioned. Otherwise, it was eerily similar to my imaginings. Walking down Main Street, shopping at the Thriftway (I still have that receipt!), driving up side streets until we found a house that could have been Charlie's, and then turning the car around only to find a beat-up, once-red, early-fifties Chevy truck parked across the roadÂ… The word surreal gets overused a lot, but this really was like walking around inside of a dream. We spent half a day at La Push, and that was even more uncanny. Unlike Forks, there were no differences between my imaginary La Push and the real thing. I spent the morning expecting every minute that we would turn a corner and run into Jacob Black.

We had to leave much too soon. I have vowed to return and take my entire family with me (my boys are going to love that beach! (I have a glass jar full of the rainbow colored rocks I collected at First Beach sitting on top of my computer desk as talismans against writer's block.)). Next time, I hope it rains.

I have a few surviving pictures from my trip. Sadly, the rest were lost in the great computer crash of February '05, along with a year's worth of birthday parties, Halloween costumes, and family portraits (back your computers up, people. Do it now). Here are the survivors-enjoy, but know that they don't do it justice.

Frequently Asked Questions: Twilight

Is there a sequel to Twilight?

Yes, there is a sequel! For more information on the sequel, click here.

Are they going to make a Twilight movie?

Yes! Click here to read about the latest movie news.

Can you get me an audition for a part in the movie?

Nope. If, for any reason, I do come into possession of knowledge concerning open auditions for any of the parts, I will post that information on the movie page.

Did Edward bite Bella at the end of the book?

There seems to be a lot of confusion about the last line of Twilight. For that, I apologize. In my defense, I can only say that sometimes a writer loses a small battle here and there with her editor, and it wasn't entirely my idea to leave the ending so ambiguous. But let me assure you that it is only Edward's lips that are pressed into Bella's throat at that particular point in time. At the beginning of book two, Bella is still very human and Edward is still very stubbornly determined to keep her that way.

Will Bella and Edward's story be a trilogy, or a longer series?

I have no intention of quitting at three. Firstly, Bella and Edward would never forgive me. Secondly, the next two books would have to be 1000+ pages apiece to get the story to any place that felt like a true resolution. Thirdly, there are other stories to tell here, and, though the narrator might change, the story will continue. I just have way to much fun living in Forks (in my head) to stop anytime soon.

What's with the apple?

The apple on the cover of Twilight represents "forbidden fruit." I used the scripture from Genesis (located just after the table of contents) because I loved the phrase "the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil." Isn't this exactly what Bella ends up with? A working knowledge of what good is, and what evil is. The nice thing about the apple is it has so many symbolic roots. You've got the apple in Snow White, one bite and you're frozen forever in a state of not-quite-death... Then you have Paris and the golden apple in Greek mythology—look how much trouble that started. Apples are quite the versatile fruit. In the end, I love the beautiful simplicity of the picture. To me it says: choice.

Why did you pick the title Twilight?

Twilight was not the easiest book to title. When I started sending out queries, I called it Forks for lack of a better idea. The first thing my agent advised me was that the title was going to have to change. We played around with a lot of different titles, and nothing seemed to convey the right feel. We brainstormed through emails for about a week. The word twilight was on a list of "words with atmosphere" that I sent her. Though these words were meant to be used in combination with something else, the word twilight stood out to both of us. We decided to try it out, and, after a little adjustment time, it started to work for both of us. It isn't absolutely perfect; to be honest, I don't think there is a perfect title for this book (or if there is, I've never heard it). When I look at the titles other countries have used (examples: Germany: Bis zum Morgengrauen which is "Until Dawn" or "Bite" if you add an "s" to make it "biss" (if you look at the German book cover on the Twilight International page); Finland: "Temptation;" France: "Fascination;" and Japan, which has split it into three separate books: "The Boy Whom I Love is a Vampire," "Blood Tastes Sadness," and "The Vampire Family in the Darkness."), it seems like I might be right about that. (Both New Moon and Eclipse were much easier to title, and the titles also fit better.)

I'm confused by the preface; who is the Hunter?

(Warning: if you haven't read Twilight, this will spoil the ending! Stop now!)

Sometimes, things in the story are so clear to me that, when I write them, I don't flesh them out or explain them well enough. Usually the editor will catch these kinds of thing. However, if it's just as clear to her, then confusion slips through. Some people get the preface, and some don't. So, to clear it all up: James is "the hunter." I think this term has caused some of the confusion, because later, he is a "tracker." But he is hunting Bella, so, in that moment, that is how she thinks of him. The moment occurs in the dance studio, near the end. The preface is one second of Bella's thoughts as James begins walking toward her from the back of the room. So here's the preface:

I'd never given much thought to dying—though I'd had reason enough in the last few months—but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.

I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me.

Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something.

I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.

The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me.

And here's the part where it fits in, on page 444 of the book:

I turned slowly. He was standing very still by the back exit, so still I hadn't noticed him at first. In his hand was a remote control. We stared at each other for a long moment, and then he smiled.

***INSERT PREFACE HERE***

He walked toward me, quite close, and then passed me to put the remote down next to the VCR. I turned carefully to watch him.

I could have flashed-back to the preface here, but, like I said, it was so clear to me that I didn't realize the need. My apologies to those who were confused!

Why do all the guys at Forks High like Bella if she's supposed to be average-looking? Is she pretty or not?

Some parts of Bella's experiences are modeled after real life (my life, to be exact) in order to ground the fantasy aspects of the story in solid reality. Ironically, many of the details that are one hundred percent reality are the ones that are called into question the most (as illustrated by some of my angry Amazon reviews). In this particular case, I modeled Bella's move to Forks after my real life move from high school to college. (Personal story alert!) I mentioned in my bio that I went to a high school in Scottsdale, AZ, which is Arizona's version of Beverly Hills (picture the high school in the movie Clueless). In high school, I was a mousy, A-track wall-flower. I had a lot of incredible girlfriends, but I wasn't much sought after by the Y chromosomes, if you know what I mean. Then I went to college in Provo, Utah. Let me tell you, my stock went through the roof. See, beauty is a lot more subjective than you might think. In Scottsdale, surrounded by barbies, I was about a five. In Provo, surrounded by normal people, I was more like an eight. I had dates every weekend with lots of really pretty and intelligent boys (some of whose names end up in my books). It was quite confusing at first, because I knew there was nothing different about me. (Side note: don't ever let anyone tell you that high school is supposed to be fun. High school is to be endured. College is fun.)

Back to Bella. Here's a short excerpt from a character study I did recently (I wrote the first chapter of Twilight from Edward's point of view; it turned out really cool, and, eventually, Midnight Sun will be published so that everyone can read it.), which shows Bella's first day a school as seen by Edward's mind-reading perspective. It explains the excitement over her arrival:

Today, all thoughts were consumed with the trivial drama of a new addition to the small student body here. It took so little to work them all up. I'd seen the new face repeated in thought after thought from every angle. Just an ordinary human girl. The excitement over her arrival was tiresomely predictable—like flashing a shiny object at a child. Half the sheep-like males were already imagining themselves in love with her, just because she was something new to look at.

Do you have any tips for aspiring writers?

Beware: I can only give writing tips for my style of writing, because I don't know how to do anything else!

My focus is the characters--that's the part of the story that is most important to me. I feel the best way to write believable characters is to really believe in them yourself. When you hear a song on the radio, you should know how your character feels about it--which songs your character would relate to, which songs she hates. Hear the conversations that your characters would have when they're not doing anything exciting; let them talk in your head, get to know them. Know their favorite colors and their opinions on current events, their birthdays and their flaws. None of this goes in the book, it's just to help you get a rounded feel to them.

I think outlining--in a very non-structured, free-flowing form--can really help. I didn't have to do that with Twilight, but it was very necessary for the other two books. I changed my outlines often as the writing led me in other directions--the outline is just a tool, not something mandatory that you have to follow.

Some of the best advice on writing I got from Janet Evanovich's website. She said if you want to be a writer as a profession, then treat it like a job. Put in the hours. Set aside time for writing, and then make yourself sit down and do it. Sometimes it's easy--the words flow and you can get a lot done. Other times it's hard, and you might only get one sentence done in an hour. But that's better than nothing.

Here's a tip that really helped me with book two and three: forget writing in order. With New Moon and Eclipse, I wrote out whichever scenes I was interested in, rather than starting at the beginning and working through to the end. I wrote most of the books in scenes, and then went back later and tied the scenes together. It cut out a lot of writer's block to write whatever part I was most interested in at the time. And it makes it easy to finish. By the time you get around to writing the less exciting transitions, expositions, and descriptions, you already have so much done! You can see a full novel coming together, and that's very motivating. (But you really need an outline to work that way--to keep from getting lost!)

What advice would you give to someone who wants to be published?

Here are my recommendations on getting published: first, finish your book completely. And try not to focus on the publishing part while you write—tell yourself a story that you really love. After you're done, read through it several times and fix anything that doesn't feel right. Then, if you're brave, have someone you trust (who also has good taste in books) read through it and give you constructive criticism. After you've got the manuscript cleaned up, go to the library and check out a big book called "Writer's Market" (or you can get an on-line subscription for something like three bucks a month at WritersMarket.com, which is what I did). Search for agents who specifically represent the kind of literature you write--YA, children's, mystery, whatever. Research these agents as much as possible--find out if they just want a one page query, or a two page synopsis, or a whole chapter (there's lots of information about how to write a query on line--here's a good one: http://www.carolynjewel.com/craft/query.shtml.) You have a better chance of getting someone to look at your query if you give them exactly what they want. Be brave, even when you get rejections. All bestselling authors got rejections. All it takes is one person who wants to look at your manuscript.

Good luck with your writing ambitions! I wish I would have believed in myself and started writing sooner.

Got any recommendations for books I can read while I'm waiting for the next book to come out?

Amazon has a list of all my favorite books here.
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How can I get a signed copy of Twilight?

Changing Hands Bookstore is usually the best way to get a signed copy if you can't make it to a signing. But, they are currently sold out of signed copies. Please check back in the future for changes.

What does Bella look like?

I left out a detailed description of Bella in the book so that the reader could more easily step into her shoes. However, so many people have asked this question, I have decided to tell you what she looks like to me. But I want to stress, Bella's looks are open to interpretation.

In my head, Bella is very fair-skinned, with long, straight, dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. Her face is heart-shaped—a wide forehead with a widow's peak, large, wide-spaced eyes, prominent cheekbones, and then a thin nose and a narrow jaw with a pointed chin. Her lips are a little out of proportion, a bit too full for her jaw line. Her eyebrows are darker than her hair and more straight than they are arched. She's five foot four inches tall, slender but not at all muscular, and weighs about 115 pounds. She has stubby fingernails because she has a nervous habit of biting them. And there's your very detailed description.

What do you mean you're switching narrators? Are you crazy?

There seems to be some anxiety over my statement that, eventually, the story of Bella and the Cullens and all my other Fork friends might be narrated by someone besides Bella. Please, don't worry. I promise that Bella will get to tell her whole story. But when her story is more or less resolved, there are other stories left to tell. Bella and Edward will always have their roles. Don't fret—those two aren't going anywhere.

In the outtakes, you described Bella's prom dress in so much detail. Do you have a picture of it?

I did! Unfortunately, it was lost in the Great Computer Crash of '04. I've searched through pages and pages of google images for Paris fashion week 2003, but I haven't been able to recover it. (I also used to have pictures of Alice's and Rosalie's, also from the runway). Sorry!

**update** A fan named Michelle—who also happens to be quite a sleuth—tracked down (using only my description in the outtakes and the clue that I found the pictures in 2003 Paris Fashion Week slides) the exact photographs that I used in creating my prom dresses for Bella and Alice. I am quite stunned that she was able to find Bella's dress, since I never mentioned that in the original photo the dress was light yellow rather than blue. Here they are:

Can you post Forever Dawn, or send me a copy, or give me a summary, or email me the outline...?

Ever since I put up my "craptastic covers" page and included the cover I made for Forever Dawn (the original sequel to Twilight), I've been getting different versions of this question. First of all, here's the reason why Forever Dawn will never be published: it doesn't fall into the young adult genre. I wasn't thinking about my audience yet when I was writing it, I was still just writing for my own amusement. When I knew that I was going to have to write another sequel, with a more YA focus, I went ahead and finished Forever Dawn so I could give it to my big sister for her birthday (how many of your sisters have ever written you a 600+ page book for your birthday?). Now, eventually, in the distant future, I will probably put up sections of Forever Dawn like I did with the Twilight outtakes. The reason I can't do this for a long time is because the plot line of Forever Dawn is still working as a loose skeletal outline for the rest of the series. In other words, it's chockfull of spoilers. So I won't be able to put any of it here on the site until I'm past that point in the story. After Eclipse is out and we get a little closer to the release of Breaking Dawn, I'll be able to reveal the first pieces of Forever Dawn.

Can you come to my town on your next tour?

I actually have no control over my tour schedule. I just go where Little, Brown & Co. tells me to go. At this point in time, I have no idea where they'll be sending me next fall. As soon as I know about any events I'll be at, I will post them in the calendar section of this website.

What CD is Bella listening to in Chapter Seven?

I took that information out because I wasn't sure how long it was going to take to get Twilight published. If it took ten years, would the band still be cool, or would it be embarrassing? Lucky for me, it didn't take that long, and the band is still quite cool (in my eyes, at least). Bella is listening to Linkin Park. As I am at this very moment.

Is there anyway to hurry the release of the sequel?

Sadly, no. That's not in my hands. New Moon will come out in August of 2006, and Eclipse will come out on August 7, 2007. No matter how fast I work, that's how it will be—it's the publisher's decision to have the books come out one per year.

New Moon

"Shoot," I muttered when the paper sliced my finger; I pulled it out to examine the damage. A single drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut.

It all happened very quickly then.

Edward threw himself at me, flinging me back across the table...

I tumbled down to the floor by the piano, with my arms thrown out instinctively to catch my fall, into the jagged shards of glass. I felt the searing, stinging pain that ran from my wrist to the crease inside my elbow.

Dazed and disoriented, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm—into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires.

****

For Bella Swan, there is one thing more important than life itself: Edward Cullen. But being in love with a vampire is even more dangerous than Bella could ever have imagined. Edward has already rescued Bella from the clutches of one evil vampire, but now, as their daring relationship threatens all that is near and dear to them, they realize their troubles may be just beginning...

Legions of readers entranced by the New York Times bestseller Twilight are hungry for the continuing story of star-crossed lovers, Bella and Edward. In New Moon, Stephenie Meyer delivers another irresistible combination of romance and suspense with a supernatural twist. Passionate, riveting, and full of surprising twists and turns, this vampire love saga is well on its way to literary immortality.

Frequently Asked Questions: New Moon

**Warning! Spoilers ahead**

Q. How come Alice and Jasper can affect Bella with their supernatural powers, but Edward and Aro and Jane can't?

A. This question comes up at every single signing! The answer is explained in Eclipse, but I'm going to tell you all anyway, just so there's less confusion.

Bella has a very private mind. She can't be touched there. What Edward and Aro do is clearly a mental thing; Jane, also, works inside the head (Jane doesn't actually inflict pain on anyone's body, she just puts the illusion of pain inside her victim's head. It's a very effective form of torture). Conversely, what Jasper does is no illusion. He affects the physical body, slowing the pulse and upping the endorphin levels to calm someone, for example, or raising the pulse and pumping out the adrenalin to excite them. Alice, also, works outside the mind in the realm of possible realities. She doesn't see the thought process behind the decisions, just the outcomes.

Q. Was Edward somehow psychically connected to Bella with the whole hearing-voices thing?

A. No. So powerfully was Bella's subconscious knowledge trying to break through her wrong-headed notions, that it produced some very convincing delusions. I'm not surprised that people thought, in the beginning, that Edward was somehow there (wishful thinking on all our parts). However, I AM surprised that people continued to think this after a certain event that made it impossible to believe that Edward was aware of Bella's circumstances. Can you guess what it was? Laurent, in the meadow. If Edward had had any inkling of the fact that Victoria had returned for Bella, no matter how far away on the planet he was, he would have been back in Forks within twenty-four hours.

Q. What did Edward break in the living room after the vote?

A. Edward ripped into halves a sixty inch plasma TV that the Cullens had shipped in from Korea because it's not available in the states yet. Emmett was a bit annoyed.

Q. What happened to Lauren's hair?

A. Ha ha. I had fun imagining this one—I only wished that it had fit into the book somewhere. Lauren fell victim to the "model discovered in the mall" scam. An alleged modeling agent approached Lauren in a mall in Victoria, B.C., and told her she was a natural model. Lauren ate it up. The agent told her that if she did something edgy with her hair, and took some high quality head shots, her future was assured. Lauren followed the instructions—dropping fifteen grand on the pictures taken by the agent's partner—and waited for her career to begin. She's still waiting. Snort.

Q. Why did Edward leave? WHY?

A. Read here for the story behind New Moon.

Q. What kind of flower is that on the cover, and what does it mean?

A. That is a ruffled tulip. As for the meaning... If you've read the Twilight FAQ, you know that the apple cover had a lot of meaning for me, and I was an active part of the covering process. However, that experience is more the exception than the rule in the publishing world. Something to keep in mind if you intend to embark on a career as a writer: lots of things you might expect to be under your control are not. Covers, for example. Those are mostly up to the publisher and the marketing and sales departments. So I don't know what the tulip means—I didn't have anything to do with this one.

Q. What does the title refer to? Is it a werewolf reference?

A. Nope. The term "new moon" refers to the phase of the moon opposite a full moon. It is when the sun is on the opposite side of the moon from us and thus the bright side of the moon is not visible from earth. This is the darkest kind of night. New Moon is the darkest period of Bella's life.

Q. How far along are you on Eclipse? Midnight Sun?

A. Book three in the Twilight Series, Eclipse, is in the final stages of editing. This means that it's pretty much done, with just a few minor fixes to go. We're on schedule and Eclipse will be released in the fall of 2007.

Midnight Sun is only a side project. Which means I have to do my real work before I can play with it. Right now, my real work is book four, so Midnight Sun will have to wait for a while. I have no idea when it will be released, because I have no idea when it will be finished. I'm only on chapter twelve right now.

Q. Is it true that there will be no advanced readers copies of Eclipse?

A. Yes.

Eclipse

"BELLA?"

Edward's soft voice came from behind me. I turned to see him spring lightly up the porch steps, his hair windblown from running. He pulled me into his arms at once, just like he had in the parking lot, and kissed me again.

This kiss frightened me. There was too much tension, too strong an edge to the way his lips crushed mine—like he was afraid we had only so much time left to us.

* * *

As Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob—knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the ageless struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella has one more decision to make: life or death. But which is which?

Frequently Asked Questions: Eclipse

**Spoilers contained below**

These questions are the ones I've been answering most during my tour Q and A events. Some of them are the questions as they were asked to me verbatim. Others are distilled from a lot of questions into a more universal and concise form.

Q. Did Jacob imprint on Bella?

A. No. And this is how you can be sure: in New Moon, after the first time Jacob becomes his wolf phase, he is mean to Bella. He won't tell her what is wrong. He says he can't see her anymore. If he'd imprinted on Bella in that moment (and it happens the first time you see the person after you've phased), he would have answered all her questions. Pretty much, he would have given her anything in the world she wanted. (When he's staring at her on the bottom of page 173 in Eclipse, he's trying to make himself imprint on her. But that's not something you can force.)

Q. Who was in Bella's house—the scent no one recognized?

A. It was Riley. He is not a totally wild newborn—he's past his first year and better able to keep his perspective. If he'd been as strong as the younger newborns in the clearing, Seth might not have won that fight. Also, Victoria prepared him very carefully for the foray. He was (to phrase it delicately) quite well fed before he went to Forks.

Q. What is the most pivotal plot development that happens in Eclipse?

A. In both Twilight and New Moon, Bella commits to becoming a vampire without once really examining what price she'll pay. In Eclipse, Bella fully comprehends that price. And then she chooses to pay it. Every aspect of the novel revolves around this point, every back story, every relationship, every moment of action.

Q. What are the characters' biggest mistakes in Eclipse, their tragic flaws?

A. Bella's is a lack of self-knowledge; she never would have pursued her friendship with Jacob if she had realized how much more than friendship it really was. You don't give up your friends when you fall in love; however, you do give up your other romantic interests. If Bella had understood herself better, she could have saved everyone a lot of heartbreak. Sometimes that happens when you try to do the right thing.

Edward's big mistake is overreaction. It's in his nature to be too extreme (see: New Moon). He's a very all-or-nothing kind of person, and it makes him unreasonable. In the beginning of Eclipse, he's too overprotective. When he sees the error of his ways, he goes too far in the other direction. He could have chosen a middle ground—maybe admitted to his jealousy and asked Bella to choose him, rather than watching her get in deeper with Jacob. Of course, he has other issues that make forcing this issue problematic. What if Jacob is better for her? What if Bella could have a more complete life with him? Should Edward really insist that Bella give everything up for vampire life? Or would it be better to let her make a fully informed choice? Can you see his dilemma? Part of Edward wants Bella to choose Jacob (and life).

Jacob doesn't have a tragic flaw. He has one goal and one hope. His goal is to save Bella's life. His hope is that he'll win her heart in the process. He fails at both. But that doesn't mean he regrets trying. If he could do it over again, he'd do the same thing. Jacob couldn't live with himself if he didn't give saving Bella his best effort—he knows it's going to hurt when he loses, but he knows it would hurt worse if he didn't try. Does he do everything right? Heck, no! But he's sixteen and he's making it up as he goes along. Those who are upset by some of his tactics should consider his youth and the fact that he is, after all, right. Bella is in love with him. (In the end, it's truly healthier for her to be aware of this as she goes forward with unalterable decisions.)

Q. What's the deal with Bella just falling in love with Jacob in the eleventh hour of Eclipse? Don't you believe in true love anymore? What happened to blacken your soul, woman??

A. First of all, let me say that I do believe in true love. But I also deeply believe in the complexity, variety, and downright insanity of love. A lucky person loves hundreds of people in their lives, all in different ways, family love, friendship love, romantic love, all in so many shades and depths. I don't think you lose your ability—or right—to have true love by loving more than one person. In part, this is true because you never love two people the same way. Another part is that, if you're lucky, you learn to love better with practice. The bottom line is that you have to choose who you are going to commit to—that's the foundation of true love, not a lack of other options.

Next, Bella does not fall in love with Jacob in Eclipse. Bella falls in love with Jacob in New Moon. I think it's easy to understand why this fact doesn't occur to her. Bella has only fallen in love one time, and it was a very sudden, dramatic, sweep-you-off-your-feet, change-your-world, magical, passionate, all-consuming thing (see: Twilight). Can you blame her for not recognizing a much more subtle kind of falling-in-love?

Does this love devaluate her love for Edward? Not for me. For me, it makes that perfect true love stronger. Bella has another option. She has a really good one. An option that's easier in many ways, that takes nothing—like her family, present or future—away from her. She would have love, and friendship, and family—an enviable human future. But she chooses Edward over all of this. This makes it real for me.

Allow me to quote from Steve Oedekerk's brilliant Star Wars parody, Thumb Wars:

Loke Groundrunner: "I will go with you and fight!"

Oobedoob Benubi: "Oh, big sacrifice; everyone you knew is dead! Glad you could tear yourself away!"

Q. Can a werewolf imprint on a vampire? What happens if a vampire bites a werewolf? Will Renee and Charlie flip out about the engagement? Is Jacob gone forever? Will Bella have a superpower as a vampire?

A. I'm not going to comment on any speculations about future events. No matter what the answer is (ex: *snort* "No, that's crazy!"), I'm still giving you something about the future. I don't want to spoil anything about book four.

Q. Can you get book four out faster?

A. Ha ha ha ha ha!

No.

(Seriously, I'll be lucky to get it out on schedule.)

Q. Read anything good lately?

A. Yes, I have. Lots of flying = lots of reading. I've been reading mostly advanced reading copies, so none of them are available in bookstores yet. I really enjoyed Dragonhavenby Robin McKinley, a fantasy so realistic you start to believe it's nonfiction (and plan your trip to Smokehill National Park). I also loved Runemarks by Joanne Harris, a core fantasy much like the stories of David Eddings or Terry Brooks, with a cool twist on Norse mythology. And my very favorite recent read was Book of a Thousand Daysby Shannon Hale. Her narrator, Dashti, has made her way into my top ten favorite heroines of all time, along with people like Elizabeth Bennett, Anne Shirley, Jane Eyre, Harriet Morton, and Jo March.

Q. Are you going to post outtakes and extras for Eclipse?

A. Outtakes, no. Why? Because I don't have anything good. I didn't cut anything major or funny this time.

Extras, not for a while. I do have a couple of fairly large extras I want to do, but I can't work on them until I'm done with book four. Eventually, I'm planning to write the story from Bree's perspective—how she met Riley, how life was amongst the newborns, how she found and lost love in the middle of the chaos, how the Volturi were involved, etc. I'd also like to write the alternate ending that I once considered for Eclipse, back when I was under pressure to end the series at three books. I'm looking forward to writing these both up, but don't hold your breath; it's going to be a while.

Q. Are you going to publish Midnight Sun?

A. Yes, when it's finished. I have to get book four done first, though. After all, you all know what happens in Midnight Sun; the end isn't exactly a surprise.

Breaking Dawn

Book Four in the Twilight Series

(This is from Stephenie, so don't just skip over it thinking that it is another boring message from the webmaster.)

It's almost August, and I'm counting down to the release of Breaking Dawn just as anxiously as you are! I can't wait to finally be able to discuss everything that happens in Breaking Dawn with you. I want to give a heads up to everyone going to the Breaking Dawn Concert Series events in Chicago, Los Angeles, and Seattle: I am going to talk about it all, so bring earplugs if you haven't finished reading Breaking Dawn by then! (If you're going to the first event in New York, it will be spoiler free.)

Speaking of spoilers, I want to ask you guys for a favor. As we saw with Eclipse (not to mention that last Harry Potter book), there is always the potential for copies of the book to be leaked early. My publisher is doing everything they can to prevent this, but there is only so much that can be done. This is the favor: if someone, somewhere, somehow, gets a copy early, I'm asking you to please not post any spoilers on the internet. And if you see something, please don't spread it around. Breaking Dawn was meant to be experienced in a certain way, and I would hate for someone to get that experience ruined by seeing something online they didn't want to see. My fans have been super cool about this in the past—last year in particular you guys went above and beyond to protect Eclipse until the release date—and I hope that we'll have the same positive experience this year.

If somebody does post a spoiler (and remember there will be a lot of hoaxes out there—do not believe everything you read: Bella gets eaten by a polar bear, anyone?), I'd love your help in getting them taken down. My publisher has set up a special e-mail account, bdcopyrightviolation@hbgusa.com, for fans to alert us to spoilers that appear online. PLEASE only send links to spoilers. E-mails about events, contacting me, etc. will not be returned.

Another thing you may notice close to the release of Breaking Dawn is that the message boards on several fansites will be taken down. They are doing this as a favor to me because I want to protect you all from stumbling upon something that could ruin the book for you. There will be plenty of time to discuss all the details of the book after August 2nd.

Finally, I don't think I could ever thank all of you enough for being so devoted to this series. You've proved over and over again that you are the best fans in the world. I hope that together we can make sure everybody gets to experience Breaking Dawn the way it was intended — on August 2nd [or the 4th if you live outside North America].

We're almost there!

--Steph

Frequently Asked Questions: Breaking Dawn,

These are the most popular questions that I got while on tour. This page is thick with explicit spoilers, so I would recommend not reading this if you have not yet read the book but are still planning to.

What does the cover mean?

Breaking Dawn's cover is a metaphor for Bella's progression throughout the entire saga. She began as the weakest (at least physically, when compared to vampires and werewolves) player on the board: the pawn. She ended as the strongest: the queen. In the end, it's Bella that brings about the win for the Cullens.

What does the title mean?

The title Breaking Dawn is a reference to the beginning of Bella's vampire life.

What does the Book I prologue refer to?

These are Bella's thoughts about Renesmee, during the time when her life was in serious danger from the pregnancy.

Why the big build-up for a fight that didn't happen?

I'm not the kind of person who writes a Hamlet ending. If the fight had happened, it would have ended with 90% of the combatants, Cullen and Volturi alike, destroyed. There was simply no other outcome once the fight got started, given the abilities and numbers of the opposing sides. Because I would never finish Bella's story on such a downer—Everybody dies!—I knew that the real battle would be mental. It was a game of maneuvering, with the champion winning not by destroying the other side, but by being able to walk away. This was another reason I liked the chess metaphor on the cover—it really fit the feel of that final game. I put a clue into the manuscript as well. Alice tore a page from The Merchant of Venice because the end of Breaking Dawn was going to be somewhat similar: bloodshed appears inevitable, doom approaches, and then the power is reversed and the game is won by some clever verbal strategies; no blood is shed, and the romantic pairings all have a happily ever after.

What was the other book besides Midsummer Night's Dream that you said influenced Breaking Dawn?

As noted above, it was The Merchant of Venice.

What happened to Marcus's wife?

Once upon a time, a fairly young vampire (he had only been a vampire for a decade and a half) named Aro changed his young sister Didyme, who had just reached adulthood, into a vampire in order to add her to his growing coven. Aro always wanted power, and because he himself had a potent mind-reading gift, he hoped his biological sister would also be gifted in a way that would help him rise in the vampire world. It turned out that Didyme did have a gift; she carried with her an aura of happiness that affected everyone who came near her. Though it wasn't exactly what he had hoped for, Aro pondered the best ways he could use this gift. Meanwhile, Aro's most trusted partner, Marcus, fell in love with Didyme. This was not unusual; given the way she made people feel, lots of people fell in love with Didyme. The difference was that this time, Didyme fell in love herself. The two of them were tremendously happy. So happy, in fact that, after a while, they no longer cared that much about Aro's plans for domination. After a few centuries, Didyme and Marcus discussed going their own way. Of course, Aro was well aware of their intentions. He was not happy about it, but he pretended to give his blessing. Then he waited for an opportunity to act, and when he knew he would never be found out, he murdered his sister. After all, Marcus's gift was much more useful to him than hers had been. This is not to say that Aro did not truly love his sister; it's just that a key part of his personality is the ability to destroy even what he loves in order to further his ambitions. Marcus never found out that Aro was responsible for Didyme's death. He became an empty man. Aro used Chelsea's gift to keep Marcus loyal to the Volturi, though not even Chelsea's gift could make Marcus show any enthusiasm for it.

How different is Breaking Dawn from Forever Dawn? What changed, what stayed the same, and why? Will you ever post extras from Forever Dawn?

The basic story is the same. Bella and Edward get married and go to Isle Esme for their honeymoon. Bella gets pregnant with Renesmee. The birth just about kills Bella, but Edward makes her a vampire in time. Jacob imprints on Renesmee. Alice has a vision of the Volturi coming to destroy the Cullens with the "immortal child" as their excuse. Alice bails. Bella's shielding abilities turn the tide in the Cullen's favor, along with Alice bringing home another half-vampire to prove that Nessie isn't a danger.

The things that are different:

Jacob and Bella are not nearly so close. None of the events of New Moon or Eclipse exist; Edward never leaves, so Bella and Jacob never bond. Jacob's feelings for Bella remain at crush level.
Due in part to Jacob being a smaller character, the werewolf pack is only sketchily developed. It exists as a whole, but there isn't much information about the individuals. Most of the wolves do not have names.
The entire story is written in Bella's perspective. Because of this, there is a lot more emphasis on the pregnancy phase.
Jacob isn't there at the delivery, naturally, so he imprints on Renesmee a few weeks later when Bella is visiting Charlie.
With no New Moon or Eclipse, Victoria and Laurent are both still alive. Laurent stays happily with Irina and sides with the Cullens in the confrontation with the Volturi. It is Victoria rather than Irina who informs on the Cullens to the Volturi. She creates a new friend, Riley, to make the actual accusation. She doesn't want Aro to know about her agenda—or the fact that the baby is only half-vampire, of which she is aware.
The wolves kill Victoria. She is the only casualty at the final confrontation.
The last chapter ends the same way, but there is an epilogue. It involves Max (J. Jenk's assistant). Bella's initial interaction with him is a little bit longer and, feeling she owes him a favor, she gives him her number and tells him she will help him out in return if he ever needs a favor of his own. Max gets himself into some trouble, and Bella gets to play Superman.

I may post some extras someday if I ever have time to go back through the Forever Dawn manuscript—it's just as long as Breaking Dawn. There are a couple of things that family members told me they particularly missed, so I would start there.

Why the name Renesmee?

Well, I couldn't call her Jennifer or Ashley. What do you name the most unique baby in the world? I looked through a lot of baby name websites. Eventually I realized that there was no human name that was going to work for me, so I surrendered to necessity and made up my own. I don't approve of such shenanigans in real life, I don't even believe in getting creative with spellings for real kids! But this was fantasy, and no human name fit, so I did the best I could. I named Renesmee so long ago—Fall 2003—that the name now sounds really natural to me. It wasn't until people started mentioning it that I remembered, "Oh, yeah, it is a weird name, isn't it?"

What's the deal with "shapeshifters"?

What is the definition of a werewolf? Is it a man who changes into a wolf? Or is it a man who, once infected by a werewolf bite, changes into a wolf during a full moon? If you go with the basic description, then the Quileutes are werewolves. It's not a distinction that really matters on a normal day. During the standoff with the Volturi (not a normal day), Edward sees that Caius is going to use the treaty with the werewolves as an excuse to attack. He's aware of the distinction between these wolves and the more traditional kind, and though it's only a technicality, he is able to use it to deflect the attack. Technically, the Volturi aren't at war with these wolves and Edward stresses the word "shapeshifter" in order to make the distinction clearer to the witnesses. The Quileutes weren't aware of the existence of a different species of werewolves, but Carlisle and Edward were. There was a hint about this at the end of Eclipse when Edward says to Victoria (referring to Seth), "Is he really so much like the monster James tracked across Siberia?"

What happened to Leah?

Leah is currently pretty satisfied with life. She's free from Sam's pack, which is a very happy thing for her. She's the "beta" in Jacob's pack, which she can't help but be a little smug about around her pack brothers (its kind of a big deal in wolf terms). Jacob has become the reliable friend that she's been needing for quite some time, and he's a real comfort to her, though they conceal their fondness for each other with constant bickering. She has absolutely no romantic interest in Jacob, and the whole Nessie thing only bothers her in that it ties her to the vampires.

What happened to Sam's father?

Sam's father disappeared when Sam was very young. He wasn't a great person, and the stress of providing for a family was too much for him, so he skipped out. This is one of the reasons that Sam is mature beyond his years. He picked up a lot of the slack.

Is Billy actually Ephraim?

No, Billy is not Ephraim. Billy is Ephraim's grandson.

Who is Embry's father?

I don't know who Embry's father is. I'm aware that this lack of knowledge is annoying to some people. I'm sorry that I haven't been able to explain myself in more detail—that's one of the drawbacks of interviews. You don't know what you will be asked, you don't have much time to come up with an answer, and if you give an answer that is too long, they cut it down into a form that doesn't make sense. So you have to think on your feet and speak in sound bites. I'm not great at either.

I'm going to try to explain what it means when I say that I don't know something, or that a character hasn't revealed some part of himself to me. Those statements are both shorthand answers for a long and complicated explanation that doesn't work for a sound bite or a stage presentation. No two people write the same way, so I don't know if this will make sense to anyone else.

When I write a story, I start out with infinite possibilities. As I describe any character or plot point, I make those characteristics finite. For example, once I decide Bella is a brunette, all of her blonde and redhead possibilities disappear. Once I decide Bella lives in Washington, all the other places she might have lived are gone. There's this huge universe of options that I slowly whittle down into a more focused reality. Until I need to know a certain fact about the character, all the possibilities stay open out there in that universe of possibilities. If I set something in concrete prematurely, it could be a stumbling block later, so I try to keep an open mind about details until they become necessary to the story. If I explore a character too early, that can lock me into a situation that might be difficult to work with later.

So, I haven't explored the three main options for Embry's father this deeply yet. Someday, if it becomes necessary to a story, I'll comb through each character, look at his history and his present, and see which option makes the most sense. I'll more fully sketch out the internal workings of Billy, Quil Sr., and Samuel Sr. and see whose character supports this backstory best. That's what I mean when I say that the characters haven't told me yet. I haven't dug into them deeply enough to see if this information rings true with who the character is.

Someday, if I continue with the Twilight universe, maybe it will become necessary for me to know who Embry's dad is. I'm not to that point, and I don't want to just give a glib, "Oh it's ___________" kind of answer, because I might regret it later.

Vampires and pregnancy: when did that idea occur to you? How does that work?

The first seed (no pun intended) was planted when I did Bella's computer research in chapter seven of Twilight. Bella reads about several real vampire legends—the Danag, Estrie, Upier, etc. In the novel, I only mentioned a few of the many legends I read through. One that I didn't mention at this point was the entry on the Incubus. The unique feature about that legend was that the incubus could father children. Hmmm, I said, and I filed that kernel of an idea away for later. When I decided to write the first sequel to Twilight (Forever Dawn), I knew it was going to revolve around a hybrid baby from the outset.

When my editor and I decided to go back and really develop Bella's last year of high school, I did so with the knowledge that it was all going to end up with the events in Breaking Dawn. Everything I wrote was pointed in that direction.

I was always very careful when I answered the "Can vampires have babies?" question, because I didn't want to say anything incorrect, but I also didn't want to make the future super-obvious. I focused my answers on the female half of the equation—female vampires cannot have children because their bodies no longer change in any aspect. There is no changing cycle to begin with, and their bodies couldn't expand to fit a growing child, either. I purposely evaded answering the question, "Can a male vampire get a human female pregnant?" to preserve a tiny bit of surprise in the last book. There were many statements on this subject purported to have come from me, but I never made those comments because, obviously, I knew where this was going.

Now, on to the "how is this possible?" question. First of all, of course it's not possible. None of this story is possible. It's a fantasy story about creatures that don't actually exist. Within the context of the fantasy, however, this is how it works:

Vampires are physically similar enough to their human origins to pass as humans under some circumstances (like cloudy days). There are many basic differences. They appear to have skin like ours, albeit very fair skin. The skin serves the same general purpose of protecting the body. However, the cells that make up their skin are not pliant like our cells, they are hard and reflective like crystal. A fluid similar to the venom in their mouths works as a lubricant between the cells, which makes movement possible (note: this fluid is very flammable). A fluid similar to the same venom lubricates their eyes so that their eyes can move easily in their sockets. (However, they don't produce tears because tears exist to protect the eye from damage, and nothing is going to be able to scratch a vampire's eye.) The lubricant-venom in the eyes and skin is not able to infect a human the way saliva-venom can. Similarly, throughout the vampire's body are many versions of venom-based fluids that retain a marked resemblance to the fluid that was replaced, and function in much the same way and toward the same purpose. Though there is no venom replacement that works precisely like blood, many of the functions of blood are carried on in some form. Also, the nervous system runs in a slightly different but heightened way. Some involuntary reactions, like breathing, continue (in that specific example because vampires use the scents in the air much more than we do, rather than out of a need for oxygen). Other involuntary reactions, like blinking, don't exist because there is no purpose for them. The normal reactions of arousal are still present in vampires, made possible by venom-related fluids that cause tissues to react similarly as they do to an influx of blood. Like with vampire skin—which looks similar to human skin and has the same basic function—fluids closely related to seminal fluids still exist in male vampires, which carry genetic information and are capable of bonding with a human ovum. This was not a known fact in the vampire world (outside of Joham's personal experimenting) before Nessie, because it's nearly impossible for a vampire to be that near a human and not kill her.

I didn't get into all of these details at my signings because it's a long, complicated mouthful. Also, it's hard to be clearly heard with all the screaming. Mostly, though, I waited to do this in writing because I have an immature, Homer Simpson-like tendency to giggle when I say the words "seminal fluids" in public.

Why did you decide to end the saga?

The Twilight Saga is really Bella's story, and this was the natural place for her story to wind up. She overcame the major obstacles in her path and fought her way to the place she wanted to be. I suppose I could try to prolong her story unnaturally, but it wouldn't be interesting enough to keep me writing. Stories need conflict, and the conflicts that are Bella-centric are resolved.

How do you feel about the Breaking Dawn controversy?

It makes me sad, of course, but I was expecting it. The negative was more than I was braced for, but that was because the book sold a lot more copies than I expected. It was bigger than I thought it would be on both the positive and the negative sides.

It's inevitable that the bigger your audience gets, the bigger the group who doesn't like what they're reading will be. Because no book is a good book for everyone. Every individual has their own personal taste and experience, and that's why there are such a great variety of books on the shelves. There are lots of very popular books that I don't enjoy at all. Conversely, there are books that I adore that no one else seems to care about. The surprise to me is that so many people do like my books. I wrote them for a very specific audience of one, and so there was no guarantee that any other person on the planet besides me would enjoy them.

When I publish a book, I know that it's not going to be right for every person who picks it up. With Breaking Dawn, the expectation was so huge and so intense that I knew the negative reaction was going to be especially bad this time. In the end, it's just a book. No book—or album, or movie, or tv show, or any other kind of entertainment—can answer to that level of expectation. Oh, it might do it for some people, it might be exactly what they were looking for. But there's always going to be another group who was looking for something else.

It's a hard thing to have people unhappy with you, but there's nothing I can do. Either Breaking Dawn entertains you or it doesn't. If I could go back in time, knowing everything I know right now, and write the whole series again, I would write exactly the same story. (The writing would be better, though—practice makes perfect.) This is the story I wanted to write, and I love Breaking Dawn. It's everything I wanted in the last novel of my saga. People's reactions don't change that.

I've heard you say that you think Breaking Dawn should be two movies. Why? Also, that it might be impossible to film. What does that mean?

If Breaking Dawn were ever made into a movie, it's hard to imagine it fitting into ninety minutes. The book is just so long! I can't imagine how to distill it—if I could, the book would be shorter. But maybe a screenwriter can see a way to do it and still cover the crucial plot points.

When I said that Breaking Dawn might be impossible to film, it's because of Renesmee. You can do almost anything with CGI these days—realistic dragons and dinosaurs and endless amounts of nonexistent creatures that blend right in with the real elements. Some of them look so real you forget they're not. However, the one thing that I've never seen is a CGI human being who truly looks real. An actress can't play Renesmee, at least not when she's a few days old; she's the size of a baby, but her expressions are totally controlled and aware. She would have to be a construct, and CGI isn't quite there yet. Of course, they develop amazing new technologies everyday, and we've got a little time left.

Is Bella an anti-feminist heroine?

When I hear or read theories about Bella being an anti-feminist character, those theories are usually predicated on her choices. In the beginning, she chooses romantic love over everything else. Eventually, she chooses to marry at an early age and then chooses to keep an unexpected and dangerous baby. I never meant for her fictional choices to be a model for anyone else's real life choices. She is a character in a story, nothing more or less. On top of that, this is not even realistic fiction, it's a fantasy with vampires and werewolves, so no one could ever make her exact choices. Bella chooses things differently than how I would do it if I were in her shoes, because she is a very different type of person than I am. Also, she's in a situation that none of us has ever been in, because she lives in a fantasy world. But do her choices make her a negative example of empowerment? For myself personally, I don't think so.

In my own opinion (key word), the foundation of feminism is this: being able to choose. The core of anti-feminism is, conversely, telling a woman she can't do something solely because she's a woman—taking any choice away from her specifically because of her gender. "You can't be an astronaut, because you're a woman. You can't be president because you're a woman. You can't run a company because you're a woman." All of those oppressive "can't"s.

One of the weird things about modern feminism is that some feminists seem to be putting their own limits on women's choices. That feels backward to me. It's as if you can't choose a family on your own terms and still be considered a strong woman. How is that empowering? Are there rules about if, when, and how we love or marry and if, when, and how we have kids? Are there jobs we can and can't have in order to be a "real" feminist? To me, those limitations seem anti-feminist in basic principle.

Do I think eighteen is a good age at which to get married? Personally—as in, for the person I was at eighteen—no. However, Bella is constrained by fantastic circumstances that I never had to deal with. The person she loves is physically seventeen, and he's not going to change. If she and he are going to be on a healthy relationship footing, she can't age too far beyond him. Also, marriage is really an insignificant commitment compared to giving up your mortality, so it's funny to me that some people are hung up on one and not the other. Is eighteen too young to give up your mortality? For me, any age is too young for that. For Bella, it was what she really wanted for her life, and it wasn't a phase she was going to grow out of. So I don't have issues with her choice. She's a strong person who goes after what she wants with persistence and determination.

What are you going to do next? Will you continue with the Twilight universe?

I think I need a break from vampires. At this exact point in time, I don't feel like I will go back to Forks. However, I also don't feel comfortable with telling people what I had planned for further novels. Maybe part of me is protecting those secrets because I'm not ready to leave my vampires behind. Or maybe it's just habit from five years of compulsory secrecy. I'm sure it will be a while before I figure out which one is the real reason. Things will probably be clearer after I've been away from the stories for a while.

I really enjoyed working on The Host, doing something totally different, and I'd like to have that experience again of starting a new world from scratch. I have several other stories that I've been waiting to work on. At this moment, I'm torn between two, but I'm planning to commit to one of them very soon.

Lastly there Is the Trailer;
Below is the Trailer of the Long awaited blockbuster I Want to see, well actually my bestfriend Cynthia and I have already made a promise that as soon as Twilight is released in the cinemas we're going to watch it on the first day too (we hope)... I can hardly wait for that too....

Yin Yang

2008-12-02T12:52:00.000+08:00

The Battle of the Sexes Is Universal going back to Adam And Eve In fact, Men And Women Are so Different That You Have to Wonder How The Heck we even Get along At all. What Stops Us from Killing Each other.
The Yin Yang Explains it Best,
Yang: Male; Is Cold, Hard and unbending.
Yin: Female; Is Warm, Soft and Yielding.
But notice the dots, A little bit of each in the other for balance.

Rabbit?

2008-11-22T15:12:00.000+08:00

today started off as a strange day for me, i woke up and had to do my household chore which was vacuuming I was like half asleep with a bunch of glitter in my hair because of last nights event which was the St.Georges Gala night.....I wore a pretty black dress aha well if you were there, it was like you couldn't tell one person from the other because we all wore formal attire.
anyways getting back to my day so far after I had finished my chores I took a really EXTREMELY cold shower then I helped my Mom on the Air-cons in the house and closed the windows.
then I went to my room and watched some DVD's on my portable DVD player and waited for my bro to come home from work so that we could have lunch.
On the menu was rabbit meat, which I've never ever eaten in my whole life. the taste was strange and unique. so after lunch I got ready to go out to band practice at church, I wore My favorite army pants and black top. I am now using albert's computer and later on I'm going to dance for pastcom I'm partly scared because we cannot smile and we all have to act serious......... SHIT!

thats all for today hahahaha...

Life is Like A Traffic Light

2008-11-18T15:19:00.000+08:00

Have you Ever Noticed the Similarity that Life has to a simple
everyday Traffic Light.
The things That sit out in the Street all day And Night facing weather conditions
Like Rain, Sunshine and sometimes even Incredibly strong winds.
Back to what I was saying Before, Life Is Like a Traffic Light Simpley Because
Well first of all there is the red light, which symbolizes the Moments in life where we need to stop and think about what we've done and what we hope to do in future.
Then ther is the sort of Orangey-yellow Light, which represents the times in Life where we need to slow down and not be so rash with the decisions we make, where we need to take a step back and think about what we're doing.
And Finally there is the green Light which Portrays the moments in Life where we can Step on it and go past the speed Limit, where we can Leave the past Behind and head straight for the future.

Life can be exactly like a Traffic Light in Some ways but in most ways life is simply what you make of it, Life is too short to be worrying about the past and what you could have done to change it. Life should be lived to the fullest no matter about the ups and downs.

Him:)

2008-11-12T16:53:00.001+08:00

I miss you so much, this person from another place has captured my eye and now the Image of him is like burned into my brain, every night is the same all I do is Hug my teddy bear and think of him but sadly I lost that teddy bear and stangely enough it was like i lost him too.... I cant get him out of my mind and i cant seem to shake this feeling of love I have for Him, But now all of a sudden Its like I like someone else like another person has caught my eye

I want to be with him but it cant be because he doesnt even know what I feel and night now even feel the same way if i tell him, thats sad isnt it? how I can love him so dearly and he doesnt even know me that well...

I love him and yet i dont isnt that a wierd feeling I hate everyday that passes by because its another day without you...

the people I miss so dearly

2008-11-12T16:43:00.000+08:00

the confirmandii's from seria who I got to know so well on the kk retreat... *sigh* those were the days and I thought they would never end but sadly they did.

and then there are the confirmandii's from KB some of which were super nice and one of which i fell for but sadly that crush is over now, the one I fell for also happend to be the on who started the whold "natasha so dangerous" thing so yeahhhh.... ohhh dont worry I'm totally use to it now.....

I wish the retreat could be repeated but sadly if that were to happen I would have to take PMB all over again... that would be pure torture I tell you......

to all the Kb and Seria people who went to kk and shared the fun times with me and stuff I just want you to know that there is a very special place for all of you i my heart..... I love you guys:)

depression, that dreaded bitch!

2008-11-12T16:33:00.000+08:00

so depression is well, lets face it depression is a bitch with lots of irritating feelings. why do we get depressed well, *sigh* if only I knew , sometimes I wish I had all the answers to the Questions I ask , If Only I could make my life something worth living Damn I hate depression its such a big BITCH with capital letters of course........

Other than being depressed I am also missing someone very dearly I cant rember the last time I saw his face, its all just a huge blurr to me like the moment you open your eyes in the morning blurr.....

why is life so unfair sometimes? now thats a question I so long to know the answer to......I miss my friends and right now the holidays are so damn boring that I'm suffering from that diesease of depression......

ok so this 23rd I'm finally getting confirmed but on the 16th the Kb-ians are getting confirmed and for the past 3 or 4 days i was like so stressed out on finding what to wear, then I finally settled on a black dress... could this be the Magic Black dress that every girl dreams about? hahaha maybe not but still cant hurt to imagine right......

i miss you guys

2008-10-06T08:11:00.000+08:00

i miss..............
simon
johnboy
russel
allister
nerissa
francis
laurence
kayvin
joyce
ate teah
and all the other kb and serians hahahah i wanna go back to pace bene hahahhaha

to caryle.....

2008-09-11T10:44:00.000+08:00

girlll where are you everyone misses you at school whats the reason for the whole get up and leave gig huh azreen especially misses you .......

youth chior experience

2008-08-25T08:09:00.000+08:00

lol hahahaha guess what theres a local celebrity in brunei lol im just kidding but guess what in chior on sunday at church i heard christian singing which to me is quite unusual its so different :) lol this is just a random blog telling random people what i heard lol not to mention i also heared ate bianca's stomach growl hahah she said she was HUNGRY .........ahummmm....... hahahaha anyways if i hear any other wierd noises i will post them back on lol by the way your spanish rocks kuya christian lol hahahahahahahaha....

2008-08-21T10:41:00.000+08:00

THREE NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU:
- nats
- nat
- natasha
~
THREE MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR
LIFE:
- 30th july
- 30th june (bestie rudies bday)
- 14th febuary (valentines day)
~
THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 3
MINUTES:
-logged on to the computer
-made funb of farhman
-talked shit
~
THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY
- get good results. in PMB
- get my love of my life back or get a new one
- eat sweet thangs
~
THREE FAVORITE SONGS AS OF NOW
- love me for me
- always be my baby
- bubbly
~
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND IN A
GUY/GIRL:
- the hair
- the face features..
- the body..
~
THREE PEOPLE YOU MISS RIGHT NOW
- HIMMMMM
- rudie
- zully lol joke lang
~
THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
- chocolates
- new lappie(laptop)
- new mobile
~
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
- dancing.
- singing.
- scrapbooking.
~
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR
VACATION:
- england
- Paris.
- California.
~
THREE MALLS YOU USUALLY GO TO:
- x____x The Mall, Gadong.
- Q-lap Mall..
- (where else?)
~
THREE FAVORITE DRINKS:
- vodka/ jack daniels
- mango/ watermelon/ honey dew milkshake!
- pokka?
~
THREE THINGS FOUND IN YOUR BAG:
- books.
- pencil case.
- scrapbook
~
THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
- all the colours of the rainbow
- purpieeee
- /pink/white/ idk?
~
TOP THREE U LOVED SO MUCH:
-HIM (name is confidential)
-form 5-ers and 4-ers (to name a few)
- My Best Friends.
~
TOP THREE WHO DO YOU THINK WILL ANSWER
THIS SURVEY:
- my friends in friendster.
- ..........
- ..........
~
TOP THREE "THINGS" SPECIAL TO YOU:
- him-me myself and i
-my besties and boy-fies

Afterlife...

2008-08-09T11:00:00.001+08:00

Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen
So unsure but it seems, ’cause we’ve been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

I see a distant light, but girl this can't be right
Such a surreal place to see so how did this come to be
Arrived too early

And when I think of all the places I just don't belong
I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far

I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear
Escape from this afterlife
’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on
Far away from here

A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain
Can leave this place but refrain, ’cause we've been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

This peace on earth's not right (with my back against the wall)
No pain or sign of time (I’m much too young to fall)
So out of place don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign
I've made up my mind

Gave me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye
Please understand I have to leave and carry on my own life

I don't belong here, I gotta move on

Fall For You.<3

2008-08-09T10:58:00.002+08:00

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night

Story Of My Life.

2008-08-09T10:58:00.001+08:00

Yesterday’s a memory,
Another page of history,
You sell yourself on hopes and dreams
That leaves you feeling sideways.
Tripping over my own feet,
Trying to walk to my own beat,
Another car out on the street trying to find the Highway
Yeah, Are you going my way?

This is the story of my life
And I write it everyday.
I know it isn’t black and white
And it’s anything but grey.
I know that no I’m not alright, but I feel ok cos
Anything can, everything can happen
That’s the story of my life

I gonna write the melody
That’s gonna make history,
And when I paint my masterpiece I swear I’ll show you first.
There just ain’t a way to see who and why or what will be
Till now is then
It’s a mystery, it’s a blessing and a curse
Or something worse.

This is the story of my life
And I write it everyday.
I know it isn’t black and white
And it’s anything but grey.
I know that no I’m not alright, but I feel ok cos
Anything can, everything can
I been thinking and maybe
You can help me write the story of my life

?

2008-08-09T10:57:00.001+08:00

You're not here
or anywhere near.
I feel so numb,
looking like I'm dumb.
Every time I hear a sound
I stop and turn around
to find your not there.
You must not give a care.
I drop down to the floor,
decide I need to cry some more.
If only you were by my side.
I wouldn't feel like I died.
I admit that you won
I'm gonna get out your gun
to point it to my head.
So I can really be dead.

DONT LET ME GET ME.

2008-08-09T10:56:00.001+08:00

Never win first place, I don't support the team
I can't take direction, and my socks are never
clean
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me
I was always in a fight cuz I can't do nothin'
right

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

I wanna be somebody else, yeah

LA told me, "You'll be a pop star,
All you have to change is everything you are."
Tired of being compared to damn Britney Spears
She's so pretty, that just ain't me

Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe
somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Cuz I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe
somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Don't let me get me

iloveyoualwayzz<3

2008-08-09T10:55:00.002+08:00

I hate the way you laugh
I hate the way you smell
I hate the way you talk
I hate you all the way

I hate that your not here
I hate that your not there
I hate that you dont care
I hate that its not fair

I hate your aftershave
I hate your beautiful face
I hate your sweet embrace
I hate your even taste

I hate the way you left me
I hate the way you used me
I hate the way you loved me
I hate the way you touched me

But most of all I hate,
That I dont hate you at all

I am my own worst enemy..

2008-08-09T10:55:00.001+08:00

Can we forget about the things I said
When I was drunk
I didn't mean to call you that
I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me
Please tell me, please tell me Why
My car is in the front yard,
And I'm Sleeping with my clothes on
Came in through the window last night
And your gone
Gone
It's no suprise to me I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
The smoke alarm is going off,
And there's a cigarette Still burning,
Please tell me why my car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
Came in through the window last night and your gone
Gone please tell me why my car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
It's no suprise to me
I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me
Can we forget about the things I said
When I was drunk
I didn't mean to call you that

SOrrow.

2008-08-09T10:54:00.000+08:00

Sometimes life seems too quiet
Into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong

Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me

Left alone with only reflections of the memory
To face the ugly girl that's smothering me
Sitting closer than my pain
He knew each tear before it came
Soon He will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

Sorrow last through this night
I'll take this piece of You
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As You flew right through me

And we kiss each other one more time
And sing this lie that's halfway mine
The sword is slicing through the question
So I won't be fooled by his angel light

Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
And up into the stars

Joy will come

GET THIS PARTY STARTED.

2008-08-09T10:53:00.000+08:00

I'm comin' up so you better get this party started
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started

Get this party started on a Saturday night
Everybody's waiting for me to arrive
Sendin' out the message to all of my friends
We'll be looking flashy in my Mercedes Benz
I got lot of style, check my gold diamond rings
I can go for miles if you know what I mean
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started

Pumping up the volume, breaking down to the beat
Cruisin' through the west side
We'll be checkin' the scene
Boulevard is freakin' as I'm comin' up fast
I'll be burnin' rubber, you'll be kissin' my ass
Pull up to the bumper, get out of the car
License plate says Stunner #1 Superstar

I'm comin' up so you better get this party started
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started
Get this party started

Making my connection as I enter the room
Everybody's chilling as I set up the groove
Pumpin' up the volume with this brand new beat
Everybody's dancing and they're dancing for me
I'm your operator, you can call anytime
I'll be your connection to the party line

Love Dominates.

2008-08-09T10:52:00.000+08:00

My secret is inside my closet
do you wanna see?
do you wanna play?
let me explain my game to you,
I will be the master
you will be the slave!

Now stop!
Don't Talk !
Sit down!
do as I say!
I will be the one
who will dominate this love
..now!
get down on your knees
No man can tame me!

Now stop!
(right now)
Don't Talk
Sit down
do as I say
I will be the one
who will dominate this love
now! get down on your knees
No man can tame me!
I will b the one
who will dominate this love
now! get down on your knees
No man can tame me!

let me show you my words can burn
honey can't you see,
ain't no little princess!
all you gotta do is release your fear
let your real self
come into the light

baby
tell me you need it
tell me you want it
get down on your knees

Figured you Out:)

2008-08-09T10:51:00.001+08:00

I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease

And I love the places that we go
And I love the people that you know
And I love the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I love the powder on your nose

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)

I like the freckles on your chest
And I like the way you like me best
And I like the way you're not impressed
While you put me to the test
I like the white stains on your dress

And I love the way you pass the check
And I love the good times that you wreck
And I love your lack of self-respect
While you passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
(Why not before, you never tried)
(Gone for good, and this is it)

I like your pants around your feet